Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my coworker, who has a tendency to overshare, decided to tell me she has chlamydia. I threw my hands in the air and said, "Stop. I don't wanna know." A customer heard this exchange and we were both written up. FML
Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML
Today, we found out that my unborn sibling is a girl, and my parents quickly named her. In a few years' time, "Candida" is going to catch all kinds of shit at school, just like I do for being named Dorothy. My "friends" have already started calling me "Lil' yeast infection's sis." FML
Today, I had to make a doctor's appointment for my daughter. Apparently she thought it would be better to wipe herself with Clorox tough scrub disinfecting wipes than tell me she'd caught an STD. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's office, where my mother happens to work. When my doctor tried to prank her by saying I have chlamydia, my mother laughed and said she didn't believe it, adding, "Have you even seen the way she interacts with boys?" FML
Today, I helped a lady give birth on the train. She was so happy she asked if she could name the baby after me, but as I told her my name she visibly turned her nose up at it, turned to her husband, and suggested naming it after his grandfather instead. FML
Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML
Today, my new coworker asked if I knew her daughter. I responded yes and asked how her pregnancy was going. She didn't know her daughter was pregnant. FML
Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML
Today, after trying for months for a baby, I finally got a positive test. For chlamydia. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
hopelessteej 8
i can see that name becoming infectious...
havok87 11
What a dumb bitch. I feel bad for that kid already.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (176)
Scribe_fml 8
Another unfortunate name? C.S Lewis approves!!
checkurselfxxx 11
today, i had to legally change my name cause my mother named me chlamydia fml.. seeriously it should be illegal to name your child anything ****** up like that... Fthebaby'sl
SexPot143 13
i can see her daughter despising her in the future
Iniezian 18
You'd be surprised at all the ****** up names parents can sometimes give their kids. I was reading about one case in New Zealand where a judge allowed a 9-year old girl to change her name because of it's utter stupidity, and then there was a list of other stupid names that had either been approved or rejected. One kid even got named "Number 16 Bus Shelter".
PatRme 9
This is from the movie 'Waiting...'
IsBitchBetter 1
A relative of mine is a Special Ed teacher and he had students named Placenta and Orangejello. There is no way you can make shit like that up!
KiddNYC1O 22
Is the pregnant woman a celebrity? I swear they choose odd names...
U_GotitDude 18
I'd hate to be her child
ulissey_fml 22
What??, Has this world gone real?
pandalover69 26
This FML is a really old joke that I've heard many times. One person even mentioned that someone said that in a movie as well. I don't think this actually happened to the OP.