Today, my coworker, who has a tendency to overshare, decided to tell me she has chlamydia. I threw my hands in the air and said, "Stop. I don't wanna know." A customer heard this exchange and we were both written up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a random customer at work admonished my coworker for being on her phone. During our lunch break. As he walked away, my coworker muttered, "What the fuck is his problem?" I nodded in agreement. He heard her and saw me nodding. As did our boss. Time to get written up. FML
Today, I told my boss about a coworker that had been hitting on me. She looked me dead in the eye and said "I was afraid that would happen. He's a bit of a chubby chaser." FML
Today, I confessed my feelings to the guy I've been seeing. He confessed that he gave me chlamydia. FML
Today, I was working when I delivered the standard "Hello, how are you?" to a customer. He took the opportunity to tell me about his deceased wife, his estranged children, and his anal tearing. After a while, I tried to help someone else, and he complained to my manager. I was written up. FML
Today, I was stuck with a coworker all morning while she had the "front farts." I moved to a different area after lunch, only to have another coworker start talking loudly about her boyfriend's skin tags, and how he likes to have her bite them off. I'm so disgusted but afraid to report it. FML
Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML
Today, a coworker told me something I didn't realize was confidential, until later when my boss called me, saying someone may have shared something confidential with me, and me, not thinking so, said I don't think anyone did. We hung up, they called back and elaborated, and it dawned on me now they think I'm a liar. FML
Today, I assisted a customer at work. She was asking me all sorts of stupid questions and acting like an entitled, spoiled brat. When she left, since I had a mask on, I meant to mouth, "Stupid bitch" but I blurted it out loud. Everyone heard. I was fired. FML
Today, I accidentally scanned a customer’s item twice. Before I could take it off, she quickly leaned over the counter and coughed on me. Repeatedly. FML
Today, I was studying my anatomy book for nursing school while in the break room at my day job. My nosy-ass, ignorant coworker who always finds a way to butt into everyone’s business told the front office I was looking at porn. I got written up for, "displaying offensive materials." FML
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Top comments
skippydoda 32
Yeah. If there is an HR department, it's time to pay a visit them.
Tarlachia 33
I wonder exactly was the complaint given? "Oh my God! I heard that one has Chlamydia and probably gave it to that person! Think of the virgin ears of my poor children!!"
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Comments (39)
skippydoda 32
Yeah. If there is an HR department, it's time to pay a visit them.
irwingiggles 26
Well at least you colleague trusts you I guess :)
ShowMeKay 20
Over-sharers typically tend to "trust" everyone.
Pokefinch27 17
Explain what happened to the HR department
torn616 7
ya explain to them how you poured gasoline on your coworker and lit that dirty diseased hooor on fire, so its all good shit won't happen again.
oiler 21
This is where you introduce her to an imaginary friend
Tarlachia 33
I wonder exactly was the complaint given? "Oh my God! I heard that one has Chlamydia and probably gave it to that person! Think of the virgin ears of my poor children!!"
nonsensical 26
If she really had to tell you, why did it have to be in front of customers?? She really needs to learn how to judge situations...
91hayek 31
One day she is going to say something that sounds like a threat to national security, then you both will be in a lot of trouble for no reason at all.
nonsensical 26
Depending on how promiscuous she is, it could already be a threat to national security
DarkLink9001 15
Sounds like a chlamity
Omfgitsmia 15
Calamity?
ZenoTheBeano 13
Chlamidia + Calamity = Chlamity
Yimpish 15
Try to make sure the coworker doesn't tell HR that they have chlmydia too.
UncleCaitlyn 21
If you explain what happened hopefully you can get yours appealed
arrowgold 19
Repealed?