Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my coworker, who has a tendency to overshare, decided to tell me she has chlamydia. I threw my hands in the air and said, "Stop. I don't wanna know." A customer heard this exchange and we were both written up. FML
Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML
Today, we found out that my unborn sibling is a girl, and my parents quickly named her. In a few years' time, "Candida" is going to catch all kinds of shit at school, just like I do for being named Dorothy. My "friends" have already started calling me "Lil' yeast infection's sis." FML
Today, I had to make a doctor's appointment for my daughter. Apparently she thought it would be better to wipe herself with Clorox tough scrub disinfecting wipes than tell me she'd caught an STD. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's office, where my mother happens to work. When my doctor tried to prank her by saying I have chlamydia, my mother laughed and said she didn't believe it, adding, "Have you even seen the way she interacts with boys?" FML
Today, I helped a lady give birth on the train. She was so happy she asked if she could name the baby after me, but as I told her my name she visibly turned her nose up at it, turned to her husband, and suggested naming it after his grandfather instead. FML
Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML
Today, my new coworker asked if I knew her daughter. I responded yes and asked how her pregnancy was going. She didn't know her daughter was pregnant. FML
Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML
Today, after trying for months for a baby, I finally got a positive test. For chlamydia. FML
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Top comments
hopelessteej 8
i can see that name becoming infectious...
havok87 11
What a dumb bitch. I feel bad for that kid already.
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Comments (176)
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
Getting pregnant should not be allowed for dumb people
Fuhkyoo 17
Eugenics, it already happened in the 80's, although it was stopped after they did it to people who in fact were not too dumb to have children
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
#141 > It was done by the Nazis way before the 80ies... And obviously, I was making a joke…
finnrambo 13
give this woman a clap!
sesor 7
That should actually be illegal. Its almost child abuse, especially the way schools and bullies are these days.
VoiceMail 12
My friend's mum works in the births, marriages and deaths registry. My town actually has a kid called 'Chlamydia'. *face palm*
redbluegreen 41
My mom used to work at the children's hospital and parents were always naming their kids after various STDs.
BellaFurfaro 12
Oh god.
lux0rd 18
I'd say its more **** the kids life not yours OP
diva239 8
Not f your life. F that poor babies life is she is dumb enough to name her that. Poor thing!
Psycho_Babydoll 26
“Ah my Duke! My daughter has been itching to meet you! CHLAMYDIA!"
twiztedone 19
Can there be an accidental sterilization?
Knightchaser27 25
Isn't to late for that?
Slinkydalatg 6
Same thing happened in Georgia a year ago. What an idiot.