Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my coworker, who has a tendency to overshare, decided to tell me she has chlamydia. I threw my hands in the air and said, "Stop. I don't wanna know." A customer heard this exchange and we were both written up. FML
Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML
Today, we found out that my unborn sibling is a girl, and my parents quickly named her. In a few years' time, "Candida" is going to catch all kinds of shit at school, just like I do for being named Dorothy. My "friends" have already started calling me "Lil' yeast infection's sis." FML
Today, I had to make a doctor's appointment for my daughter. Apparently she thought it would be better to wipe herself with Clorox tough scrub disinfecting wipes than tell me she'd caught an STD. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's office, where my mother happens to work. When my doctor tried to prank her by saying I have chlamydia, my mother laughed and said she didn't believe it, adding, "Have you even seen the way she interacts with boys?" FML
Today, I helped a lady give birth on the train. She was so happy she asked if she could name the baby after me, but as I told her my name she visibly turned her nose up at it, turned to her husband, and suggested naming it after his grandfather instead. FML
Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML
Today, my new coworker asked if I knew her daughter. I responded yes and asked how her pregnancy was going. She didn't know her daughter was pregnant. FML
Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML
Today, after trying for months for a baby, I finally got a positive test. For chlamydia. FML
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Top comments
hopelessteej 8
i can see that name becoming infectious...
havok87 11
What a dumb bitch. I feel bad for that kid already.
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Comments (176)
DracoSpirita 21
My friend's mom is a nurse. She once told us about a patient of hers who named her two daughters Chlamydia and Gonorrhea because she "thought they were pretty". She also had a patient who named her daughter Renesmee. What is wrong with people?
TheDrifter 24
I thought Renesmee was a cute name too, so I had to google it to see why it would be laughed at. I understand now.
sopeerocks 8
Hope she was joking lol
conholio33 28
Kid get ready for a life time of bullying and ridcuel for that name (if the mother goes thru with it) *my opinion*
Ellenpop 15
Should have tried to persuade her to change the name to Claudia... Similar sounding, yet drastically different!
Calingaladha 21
Brings a new meaning to discharged from the hospital.
Jennidoll 2
did you reply yes they ******* do everyone but you knows what that means??
kiwienne 21
It actually IS a pretty name... It's just been slightly ruined :/
jem970 19
Slightly?! Its a ******* STD! Now the kid is going to be called a disease in school for the rest of her life!
DrShrug 3
Really?
TinyGiant 4
I really hope you called social services. 1. That is child abuse. 2. Nobody that stupid is fit to be a parent
Epikouros 32
The mother is right, it is a beautiful name. The doctors/biologists who gave such a beautiful name to an STD are the stupid ones.
sassy2085 16
Well she can always shorten it to Lydia :$