Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my coworker, who has a tendency to overshare, decided to tell me she has chlamydia. I threw my hands in the air and said, "Stop. I don't wanna know." A customer heard this exchange and we were both written up. FML
Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML
Today, we found out that my unborn sibling is a girl, and my parents quickly named her. In a few years' time, "Candida" is going to catch all kinds of shit at school, just like I do for being named Dorothy. My "friends" have already started calling me "Lil' yeast infection's sis." FML
Today, I had to make a doctor's appointment for my daughter. Apparently she thought it would be better to wipe herself with Clorox tough scrub disinfecting wipes than tell me she'd caught an STD. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's office, where my mother happens to work. When my doctor tried to prank her by saying I have chlamydia, my mother laughed and said she didn't believe it, adding, "Have you even seen the way she interacts with boys?" FML
Today, I helped a lady give birth on the train. She was so happy she asked if she could name the baby after me, but as I told her my name she visibly turned her nose up at it, turned to her husband, and suggested naming it after his grandfather instead. FML
Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML
Today, my new coworker asked if I knew her daughter. I responded yes and asked how her pregnancy was going. She didn't know her daughter was pregnant. FML
Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML
Today, after trying for months for a baby, I finally got a positive test. For chlamydia. FML
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Top comments
hopelessteej 8
i can see that name becoming infectious...
havok87 11
What a dumb bitch. I feel bad for that kid already.
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Comments (176)
ulissey_fml 22
Leave that woman alone. She has said her piece.
ChancellorJ 7
Looks like someone's gonna be going by their middle name. Unless she also likes the name "Syphilis".
spikekutter 9
how can anyone be that stupid and not have an std?
wow810 4
That poor child
ballbearing 10
I went to school with a Peritonitis. Everyone called her Peri but even at 9 years old I thought her parents were horrid for naming their baby after disease!
TheyCallMeDamien 18
Oh sweet Jesus that poor child.
twinkiefeets 17
What a ******* moron.
Papaw_fml 3
oh sh1t! another poor child stuck with a horrible name by ignorant parent(s).
guyverzerox 6
I know that lmao
redhedsaysrawr 18
This is why some people don't need to breed.