Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my coworker, who has a tendency to overshare, decided to tell me she has chlamydia. I threw my hands in the air and said, "Stop. I don't wanna know." A customer heard this exchange and we were both written up. FML
Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML
Today, we found out that my unborn sibling is a girl, and my parents quickly named her. In a few years' time, "Candida" is going to catch all kinds of shit at school, just like I do for being named Dorothy. My "friends" have already started calling me "Lil' yeast infection's sis." FML
Today, I had to make a doctor's appointment for my daughter. Apparently she thought it would be better to wipe herself with Clorox tough scrub disinfecting wipes than tell me she'd caught an STD. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's office, where my mother happens to work. When my doctor tried to prank her by saying I have chlamydia, my mother laughed and said she didn't believe it, adding, "Have you even seen the way she interacts with boys?" FML
Today, I helped a lady give birth on the train. She was so happy she asked if she could name the baby after me, but as I told her my name she visibly turned her nose up at it, turned to her husband, and suggested naming it after his grandfather instead. FML
Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML
Today, my new coworker asked if I knew her daughter. I responded yes and asked how her pregnancy was going. She didn't know her daughter was pregnant. FML
Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML
Today, after trying for months for a baby, I finally got a positive test. For chlamydia. FML
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Top comments
hopelessteej 8
i can see that name becoming infectious...
havok87 11
What a dumb bitch. I feel bad for that kid already.
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Comments (176)
SuperDanielNL 23
Abort the kid, with a mother as dumb as rocks and such a name that kid will never succeed.
babe7260 30
Are you ******* kidding me? That's ur answer? Kill the child? REALLY?
SuperDanielNL 23
Then you go adopting it. Personally I think people need to take some kind yest before having kids.
Yourheadache 19
So just because of the name the baby will never succeed? Well that's stupid. Is not the baby's fault.
WeaselBee42 6
Being raised by a mother that stupid would make her life a LOT more difficult, as would getting teased all the way through school and even beyond for having such a name
RedPillSucks 33
So the parent is stupid, therefore kill the child? Who knows? She may be an otherwise loving mother.
Paris25_fml 11
As history seems to tell us; the more difficulties we have and overcome in our youth, the stronger and more successful an adult we become. I suppose that is only as true as you make it though.
Fuhkyoo 17
Abortion, when it is needed, excecution for those that deserve it, the giving and taking of life will always beeeeeeee
rinzlerkitty94 31
You're a monster, that's not even funny as a joke.
hordriss 14
Why is it FYL? This essentially is a massively dumb woman who has nothing to do with you. This will be an FML for the poor kid.
alexsam_fml 10
neither OP deserves it nor her life sucks.though the baby's life does suck for having such a mother and if she starts hating her mother,I will say the mother absolutely deserved it.
oj101 33
Is the fact that she's pregnant, and wants to call her child after an STD a coincidence? To me, it seems like both are linked. (meaning she had an STD whilst getting pregnant after being promiscuous) I wonder.
paintedchocolate 30
Never ever explain the joke.
doodlecloud 27
So close! You actually could've just linked getting pregnant and not knowing about STDs to a lack of sex education....but no, you chose to go with 'she must have an STD AND be pregnant! :D'...despite the fact that chlamydia often leads to an inability to get pregnant anyway...
Korosuhito 26
I desperately hope that the mother changes her mind, and if not, aren't there laws in place that prevent parents giving their children names like this?
twiztedone 19
Only in certain countries!
sawuuhcat 11
Apparently not if a couple was allowed to name their child "Hashtag".
igive 29
There are such laws in Iceland.
Erzebet_fml 7
How is this an FML? Is this woman related to you somehow? Is her unborn child yours? If not, then this has nothing to do with you and doesn't affect you in the slightest aside from witnessing a vast amount of human stupidity. I think you're on the wrong website.
ambowew 7
It should seriously be possible to receive a fine for thrusting years of torture and ridicule onto your kid via a ridiculously shitty name.
theawkwardlife 21
guys relax this poor woman has pregnancy brain.
luminos_ 9
I weep for the child and I weep for humanity.
finnrambo 13
should be past that after honey boo boo
nnnope 26
And this is why I believe the entire population should be sterilized and only people who pass a test proving they are fit to be parents should receive the antidote. I guess I'll just keep face-tabling in the meantime.
hipsterhunter 9
My mum always says the exact same thing. Can't say I disagree. It would improve a lot.
OhhhMaryy 12
Poor girl, if that's really her name. Everyone but her knows what chlamydia is .-.