Today, I walked my girlfriend home. As I kissed her goodbye, I heard a high-pitched scream and turned just in time to see her little brother charge head-first into my nuts. All because I kissed her on the cheek. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in school when I spotted my girlfriend in the hallway. I wanted to be all romantic and grab her like guys do in movies. I grabbed her wrist forcefully and pulled her out of the crowd. As I quickly leaned in to kiss her, I broke her nose. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML
Today, I was going on a date with my girlfriend. When I took her home, her sister came to the door. I used to date her sister and I didn't know they were related. My girlfriend realized this, then kicked me in the crotch. FML
Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML
Today, I went to drop my little brother off at the nursery. As I walked in, a boy punched me in the dick and ran away. FML
Today, while walking through the park, a little boy came running up to me and hit me in the nuts with a stick. I fell on the ground and looked up just in time to see his mom giving him the thumbs up with a smile on her face. FML
Today, I snuck up on my girlfriend to give her a kiss. Only after I planted a big one did I realize it was not my girlfriend, or even a girl for that matter. FML
Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Exactly which cheek did you kiss? Because that makes all the difference.
BionicIce 9
I would have slapped that kid
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Comments (76)
GruesomeUrchin7 10
U should have punted him
Kukironosuke 16
Don't kick the baby! (Ike brovslosfsky voice)
Ruskiy_Cherep 18
Been there, nothing I like more than overprotective little brothers... -.-
flyingflies 36
Overprotective big brothers? Their threatening and maiming are certainly intentional.
Keyori 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Sounds like something I would do
XxDanno316xX 27
Head butt a guy in the nuts for kissing your sister? Please, don't have kids.. especially a daughter :)
tarlax 11
Yeah, I know you think saying that makes you sound cool, 15, but it really just makes you sound stupid. Like those Tumblr idiots who always talk about throat punching people.
cocostarrz 13
Well.. How old is your girlfriend? O.o
TommyGunGO 10
17 just like me ... Wasn't fun when i had to go sit in her living room with a bag of ice for the next hour.
k_cummins 21
How old is the brother?
flyingflies 36
What did the parents say?
AdamTodddBrown 11
Beat his ass or dump the bitch. Drama is never worth it
GabbyPLluch88 13
gotta love the in-laws lol
RedCronos 17
It would be best not to cheat on her
mr_wafffles 10
*drives truck into dick*
feven 32
I don't think he likes you.
gobiteme2 34
sounds like one bad ass head butt.
JosephKorso 15
Sounds like her brother is a little nuts.
Awgie 7
No No No NONONONONONONO that is a bad joke