Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was making out with this hot girl at a party. She was a bad kisser and I meant to say, "It's like you're 16 and don't know how to kiss" but it came out as, "It's like I'm kissing a 16 year-old." The room fell silent and she got off my lap with a disturbed look on her face. FML
Today, I was making out with some girl at a party and noticed that she wasn't very good at it. I tried to say, "You kiss like a 16 year-old doing it for the first time" but ended up saying, "You kiss like a 16 year-old." Upon saying that, a dozen people turned and looked at me, giving weird looks. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's extended family for the first time. Her family kept telling her how much I looked and acted like her older brother and I'm guessing by the end of the day she agreed, because now she pulls away and gags when I try to kiss her. FML
Today, I went in for a hug with my friend, but she leaned in for a kiss on the cheek at the same time. What followed was a full-on awkward face collision where I ended up kissing her on the lips. We both stood there, staring at each other before I muttered, “Sorry, gross." She really took it personally. FML
Today, I've been so accustomed to kissing my girlfriend that when I gave my best bud a hug, I kissed him on the neck. FML
Today, I was saying goodbye to a friend after a long day out. I went for a hug, and as I pulled away, I kissed her on the cheek for some reason. Realising it was an awkward mistake, I pulled back even more and said, "Sorry, I thought you were my mum." She looked at me confused, and we both stood there in complete silence for what felt like hours. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML
Today, I walked my girlfriend home. As I kissed her goodbye, I heard a high-pitched scream and turned just in time to see her little brother charge head-first into my nuts. All because I kissed her on the cheek. FML
Today, at the age of 17, I had my first kiss with the girl I've liked for over a year. However, it was a stage kiss and the girl has made it clear that she finds me repulsive. FML
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Top comments
xSphinx 18
That's both an FML and a WTF
Cass_x 22
How does she know what her brother kisses like? D:
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Comments (157)
Johnnycake23 42
Run bitch! She gonna kill you!!!!
xokpxo 12
What part of the FML did you read to make you think she's going to kill him?
Johnnycake23 42
I guess people haven't found their sense of humor yet this morning. She is just really weird and he would do better to get out now.
Erery 16
You're just not funny.
gennyv 29
Your comment mad no sense for this FML at all
marigoldcobain 21
This isn't funny, I read the other comments and... Just no.
SlyCooper15 16
... what?
NamelessFace 22
When your joke fails at the one purpose it has-being funny-it's your cue to quit trying. It's like a microwave without heat or a shower without water.
SnoringMonkeyObs 14
? This comment hahaha
Cass_x 22
How does she know what her brother kisses like? D:
bhfriday 9
gee, I don't know
Ashamed_Sister 60
This question is the main point about this FML.
Khaleesi_26 30
That is an easy question to answer! The girl is obvouisly Cersei Lannister, and her brother Jamie.
Googolman 29
Or maybe OP is a time traveller and the girl is his mom from the past.
Wakachulak 22
Only one way, and I don't want to say which!
Scorpio1691 29
I think everyone is asking the same question.
verysmarmy 11
"When I kiss you, it's like I'm kissing... my brother."
dragonrider1959 18
Kinda the point
rx46590 3
only in 'murica
imapartypooper 15
The next FML is going to be, "Today, I just walked in on my son and daughter making out in my daughter's bedroom. I don't even want to know what else they do when I am not home. FML."
BoaNikolaos 14
Seems pretty obvious
Eyeslick 33
Hopefully she means that you're just being super awkward, as if she was kissing her brother(which would be awkward)?
CandyApple88 13
It's probably the girl from an older FML who's brother asked if he could practice kissing on her.
Googolman 29
Did no one understand my Back to the Future reference?
SassyGoblin1198 9
Just roll with it?
PotterHead_DH 26
No?
xSphinx 18
That's both an FML and a WTF
destinedjagold 7
...eeeyup... o.o
incoherentrmblr 22
This is what would've happened if Marty's mom in Back to the Future 1 would've kept kissing him...
dragoongirl90 34
Whoa, dude! I'd demand some kind of explanation as I slowly backed away...
imapartypooper 15
I wouldn't know what to say. The other really creep part aside from the fact that she knows how her brother kisses is that she obviously sees it as a compliment.
am_bugg 20
I'm baffled that she just continued kissing you like everything she just said was okay..
Morning_fml 22
Well, if she's okay with incest I guess she'd be okay with anything.
limealicious 15
Except anal.
voltroz 18
How would you know? Maybe she's into it too ?
Mynamewontfi 40
That's a new kind of ****** up.
jerryj 27
Yeah we should give this new kind of ****** up category a name. One idea could be to call it incest.
RobinGoodfellow 47
Hopefully she's speaking from observation and not from experience.
lil_ham1644 29
Watching her brother kiss is creepy as well, though.
nialls_girl 13
Or making out with your eyes open if she is basing your kissing through observation.
thespiantess 18
Amongst all the possibilities, making out with her eyes open would still be the less creepy one...
cheeeksss 29
Please tell me you asked her to elaborate...
Soundslikeothers 15
Just go with the flow until she asks you for a three some