Today, I was jamming out and playing some air guitar. I somehow managed to knee myself directly in my left eye socket. I now have a hideously swollen face and a black eye. When people ask me what happened, I'll be hesitant to tell the truth. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while playing on stage, the singer of my band swung his microphone around, straight into my face. I now have stitches above my right eye, and a job interview in three days. FML
Today, whilst tuning my guitar, one of the steel strings snapped and hit me in the face. Now I'm on my way to my first date with the girl of my dreams, and I'm wearing an eye patch and have a thick red line across my face. FML
Today, my band went to play a set for the first time. I'm the drummer. All was going well, and then before our first song I threw the sticks in the air, went to catch them, and one hit me right in the eye. I couldn't continue playing. Now I have to wear an eyepatch. FML
Today, in an effort to be fitter, I joined a Pilates class. Ten minutes into it, I dropped a 10-pound dumbbell on my face. I now have a horrific looking black eye, and half of my cheek is a mottled green color. Not to mention the cut above my eye that needed 4 stitches. FML
Today, I accidentally gave myself a black eye. I would laugh about it if my friends didn't start suspecting that my husband is abusing me, and won't listen when I try to explain what really happened. FML
Today, I decided to wear a tight, long-sleeved shirt that showed off my body. As I was trying to roll up my sleeves, I realized how tight the shirt really was. It wouldn't budge past my elbow, and I tugged so hard I ended up punching myself in the eye. I now have a swollen, black and blue eye. FML
Today, I woke up with my face flying at the wall. A muscle spasm had caused me to pop out of bed. I'm now dealing with a concussion and sprained neck, thanks to an almost physically impossible feat. FML
Today, I was trying to take the cap off a can of spray cooking oil. It was really stuck so I pulled extra hard. It flew off and I punched myself in the head. I also sprayed myself in the eye with it. The lump on my forehead and my swollen shut eye make me look like Popeye, but I'm a girl. FML
Today, I went to a gig. The drummer threw his drumsticks out at the end and I managed to catch one. With my face. Not only did I get a black eye, but the person next to me snatched the drumstick from my hands. FML
Today, I woke up to see that I had two black eyes from a cheerleading stunt gone wrong yesterday. I decided to curl my hair to distract from them. While curling my hair I accidentally burned my cheek. I now have two black eyes and a huge burn on my cheek. My extended family is coming tomorrow. FML
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Top comments
OnlyOnFML 0
The tough life of a guitar hero...
causticgirl 6
Yeah, I'd come up with a better story for that black eye. Make it a good one. Maybe something involving a mugging with 2 attackers.
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Comments (114)
AsianCookie247 14
Wtf..
Damn_Hippster 11
Well air guitar is the most dangerous of instruments.
cookie_3008 4
Say you saved a baby on a wild horse!! ^_^ ( I honestly, wouldnt change a thing!!! Lol.. I thought it was pretty funny.)
WCARlover 35
Butt trumpet is pretty high up on the list too...
Sumo69 9
So is the skin flute
Deroni76 5
OMG OP, you're a freakin' ninja!!!
MagicGiraffe 12
You were saving dying British orphans is always a good fib
blackheart24 10
I play air guitar so much better than real guitar. At least to Metallica songs.
hellaflushfa5 6
I used to play air guitar, but then I took an eye to the knee.
causticgirl 6
Yeah, I'd come up with a better story for that black eye. Make it a good one. Maybe something involving a mugging with 2 attackers.
muzy 23
Or that you mixed it up with four senior citizens. They beat you pretty severely but two of them would most likely need hip replacements
Meme1988 18
Cool, and you were defending the honor of some girl :) Never tell the real story...
Pretty_Pink_Lady 10
Just keep saying "you should see the other guy!" and hope people stop questioning you.
spazz666 18
I personally think the real story is better. "What happened to your eye?" "Oh, you know. Playing air guitar is dangerous. Knees go flying EVERYWHERE man." It's good to laugh at ourselves every now and again ^-^ I tripped up the stairs today at school and was laughing at myself while I was helped to my feet. No big deal, just go with it (:
Friendzonian 0
Yeah same with getting hit by a parked car
OnlyOnFML 0
The tough life of a guitar hero...
instnt1nfction 17
I used to be a guitar hero, then I took a knee to the eye?
MetalxSoldier 26
I would just say I got kneed in the face. And when they say "by who?" Ill just say, "HOW THE HELL SHOULD I KNOW, I GOT HIT IN THE EYE!"
spazz666 18
#22, I see what you did there, Sir, and I enjoy it very much. Kudos! *thumbs up*
Sinnamon 12
That made me smile.
queen_awks 16
At least it's an interesting story to tell...
nattynatters 14
Awkward turtles is my favorite.
omarzrgz 3
Who says they need to know the truth? ;)
kiran_fml 5
I actually have kneed myself in the face too lol, just not as badly as you but I feel your pain.
coried91 28
Wow, that takes talent. I can't reach my eye with my knee unless I'm sitting down.
skinthesnakes 6
Eye fail to knee the problem here.
omarzrgz 3
I air drum. Let's start a band?
SlightlyNinjaMan 0
I can air sing..
ottyscays 5
Yeww air bassist here
QueenQuay77 10
Air backup singer right here
starile 20
Your life is average.