Today, my mother said I'm slipping too deep into depression since my boyfriend left for college in Fresno. Her solution? Buying me a vibrator. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mother was cleaning out my underwear drawer and found my vibrator. Everytime I see her in the hall, she just cracks up and makes jokes about how I can't get a guy, so I have to rely on electronics. What's worse, she told my dad AND posted a status on facebook about it. FML
Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML
Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML
Today, I ran out of underwear and so I went into my mom's drawer to borrow a pair from her. It was then that I found out my mom uses the same vibrator as I do. FML
Today, I came to the realization that I dream more about my vibrator than I do about my boyfriend. FML
Today, after assuming I'd been scammed, I finally found the vibrator I ordered over 2 months ago. It was in my mom's bedside cabinet. FML
Today, I needed money to go to the movie. I asked my mom if I could reach in her purse and grab a few bucks. When I opened up her purse her phone started to vibrate. I yelled over to my mom that her phone was ringing. She said the phone was next to her. I looked in the purse. It was a vibrator. FML
Today, my boyfriend confessed that he felt so insecure he submerged my $80 vibrator in water to eliminate the competition. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend secretly purchased a vibrator and has been using it for the past two weeks. When I confronted her, her only argument was "It's made me cum more times than you could." FML
Today, I woke up and found $30 slipped under my door with a note that read, "Please buy yourself a quieter vibrator. - Mom and Dad." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
chell1894 13
I like it!
saIty 17
Just stick a picture of him on your little friend. Use it well young Jedi.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (190)
HybridWhiteboy 0
Kinky
Ebony101 0
What an excellent solution! Wish my mum would do that for me....
lizliz23 0
lol @ least ur mom is cool bout this stuff but still lmfao
perdix 31
Don't be a buzz-kill, try it. Your mom wanted to see you shaken, not stirred. She could have spent a bit more and gotten you a gigolo. Also, she worried about you because you are dating someone who went to Fresno on purpose.
Perdition 4
So true - I'd be worried about someone's mental state if they chose to go to Fresno. It's a terrible, terrible place.
buckie123 3
You have a great mom!
lxmadmardiganxl 0
At least it's reliable
mango260 9
I'll tell him hi for you! Lols
docscientist 10
I'd be depressed if I knew someone willingly went to Fresno, too.
mango260 9
Fresno is awesome!! :P
ImDB8 0
Stop complaining! You know you like it
Squince420 0
Haha nice