Today, I found out that my girlfriend secretly purchased a vibrator and has been using it for the past two weeks. When I confronted her, her only argument was "It's made me cum more times than you could." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was looking for my passport and I found my wife's new vibrator (that she failed to tell me she'd purchased). I understand now why she doesn't want sex with me anymore. That thing is much bigger than I am. FML
Today, it's been four months since I bought my girlfriend the vibrator she'd been wanting. She hasn't wanted sex since. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML
Today, I came home from work and found my sister using my vibrator in my own bed. FML
Today, for the third time this week, I came home to my wife asleep in bed, her pants down, and her vibrator in her hand. She keeps refusing sex because she "isn't in the mood" and insists there's nothing wrong. To rub salt in the wound, I bought her the vibrator as a gift, hoping to spice things up. FML
Today, I went to work leaving my girlfriend asleep in my bed. Later she calls me, demanding to know how long I've been cheating on her. We don't use condoms but she found several in the bin when she decided to empty it. I had to explain while my colleagues listened that I use them to masturbate. FML
Today, my husband got jealous of my new vibrator. I got the vibrator to "spice things up" between us, because he hasn't touched me in months. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been cheating on me with two different guys. Her incredibly moving excuse was that she was getting "more experience" so she could please me better. FML
Today, I found out that the mother of my children named her vibrator after me. We are together and have not had sex in over 18 months. I have no idea what to do with this information. FML
Today, we were going around the table, telling everyone what we were thankful for. My girlfriend said she was thankful for her vibrator, because I can't please her like it can. My family thought this was funny. FML
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Top comments
interesting33 37
'confronted her' sounds like the argument was gonna happen. Why confront and not just ask her or talk to her? she should be able to have a vibrator and not hide it. but she also needs to communicate if she isn't happy in bed.
real life problems 26
Theres nothing wrong with your girlfriend using toys. You however sound insecure in your ability to satisfy her, which isnt helping anyone.
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Comments (51)
BurnInDemonFire 39
Ouch...
interesting33 37
'confronted her' sounds like the argument was gonna happen. Why confront and not just ask her or talk to her? she should be able to have a vibrator and not hide it. but she also needs to communicate if she isn't happy in bed.
blue_ecureuil 20
The way he expressed himself makes it look like she should have asked permission for buying one, way too possessive
wolfygirl626 8
why do guys gets so pissy bout this? not our fault very few women can 'reach' the same way a guy can :P
real life problems 26
Not all guys get upset about it, I've bought my previous gf's toys
wolfygirl626 8
didnt say all guys :P, but that is good that you did
Steve97 32
Some men just don't know how to push the right buttons XD
campdude90 15
Ain’t that the truth
real life problems 26
Theres nothing wrong with your girlfriend using toys. You however sound insecure in your ability to satisfy her, which isnt helping anyone.
Kameron Kriese 11
It sounds more like she was using it as a replacement behind his back, instead of talking to him and seeing what they could do about how things could improve. her last comment doesn't really seem to give off the vibe that he has any reason to NOT be insecure.
real life problems 26
Him complaining about it like she went behind his back is insecurity
Rabite 28
How do you know that she didn't tell him and he just doesn't give a shit? He could have just asked her about it, too, if he noticed that she wasn't happy in bed. And yes, you notice when you are not just focussed on your own pleasure.
real life problems 26
She didnt tell him because he 'confronted' her after she 'secretly' used it.
xXDemonWolfXx 13
How do you know that she told him? Or are you simply on her side because she’s a woman
badrussian79 10
Um why the **** should she “secretly” purchase it and what the **** do you have to confront her about? Unless she’s forbidden you the joy of **** hub and a quick wank. Then you you’ve got a valid point being pissed. Not about her BOB but about her hypocrisy. If you get jealous of her having an intimate personal moment that’s your problem not her’s. Getting pissed about the BOB doing a faster job is like being pissed that a vette smoked an Amish buggy. Some times you want to take is slow and enjoy, some time you wanna get it done and move on.
RichardPencil 32
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You can’t beat the machine. Your function is to bring home a paycheck and maybe she’ll let you in from time to time.
KittyMack 13
Where does it say she's a leech huh? or that she rarely puts out? Wow you really hate women. Well, not real ones but the straw (wo)men you imagine. That must make it very hard to function in a world half full of the things eh?
Kameron Kriese 11
I'm not defending the previous poster, but I will say that if you take into context the contents of the post it does sound like she was using the toy as a replacement. Also, he was making a joke. I can see that you clearly failed to realize that but I thought I would tell you and that his joke was actually rather humorous considering the ridiculous quality of its nature
ayom917 1
hun, just because you come home everyday to your state of the art silicone sex doll you ordered from amazon and **** it doesn't mean thats *real* how women are. Disappointing huh
RinoaHeartilly 36
She's a goddamn adult who can use a vibrator if she wants. **** your ego.
WHSKitty4ever 23
Possessive much, OP? Does she have to ask your permission to use the toilet, too?
ForSeriousReally 17
Ya, FYL for having a girlfriend who enjoys sex. I mean, what guy wants that, amirite?
Rabite 28
Well she doesn't enjoy sex with someone who apparently doesn't care about making it good for her.
Sheepiebeepie 26
What the hell? She can do whatever the hell she wants with her body. Men who get jealous of vibrators are possessive and insecure, and I’ve heard the argument “it’ll stretch out her ******” bullshit, that’s not how they work. Does your foreskin keep getting longer and longer from all the boners? No.