Today, I was talking with a close friend (who is a virgin) about why he didn't want to have sex with a prostitute. He told me that, "It's not nice to know that the girl you are having sex with has slept with half the country." He then added, "That's exactly why I wouldn't have sex with you." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out the only reason why a friend of mine even bothered talking to me. He thought that I'd sleep with him if he was nice enough. FML
Today, someone in class was making a point about premarital intercourse - "90% of teen virgins aren't saving it for marriage, they just can't get any." Another classmate pointed me out specifically. FML
Today, just like at every gynecologist's appointment in the last 5 years, I had to yet again explain that no, I'm not a virgin at 27 because I'm waiting till marriage, I'm just a loser that no-one wants to sleep with. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had a friend over. This friend was talking about how two girls were trying to get with him. My boyfriend said, "I wouldn't ever fuck the blonde one, but I would do the other one in a heartbeat." Then, realizing what he'd just said, he hesitantly added, "…if I was single." FML
Today, my boyfriend of three years decided it was finally time to have sex. After we did, he told me that he was sleeping with another girl. He wanted to have sex with me to see who was better. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Today, I found out that the girl I went on a date with, and refused to sleep with me because she, “doesn’t have sex on the first date” had no qualms about sleeping with my buddy on his first date with her. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. Afterwards, he told me that he was only doing this because he wanted to know if he still truly loves his girlfriend. FML
Today, I was having sex with a guy I met at my friend's party. He stopped mid-thrust, climbed off, and started talking about how nervous he is about buying his first car next week. FML
Today, a cute girl was telling me about her weird fetishes. I jokingly said, "Remind me never to have sex with you". She replied, "Don't worry, I have standards". FML
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Top comments
ChiliRamen 0
Sounds like a conversation I had with a very close friend of mine. Then we ended up dating :-p
qwertyone 0
It sounds like he was joking. That or you actually do sleep around too much. For the sake of humanity I hope it's the former.
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Comments (172)
ramizaali 0
hahahaha
aback 5
Ew. That was gratuitous, it's not like you were begging him, right? Just call the ****** a pedophile or goatfucker or something.
g00nie 0
well, something he said obviously must've be true to you if you feel so offended
HeyThereGorgeous 0
well that's nice
idkk42314 0
haha!!! tht totally made me crak up 4 about like 10 minutes here! hella funny man!!
cmac86 24
BURNED! you got totally owned on that one ****! he's right, though. good for him.
mehwhateverr 0
Uh, why would you try to convince your virgin friend to sleep with a hooker? YDI. By the way, he sounds funny. I like him.
scrubalub 0
I didn't know it was considered bad to be a virgin. At any rate, YDI for being a ****.
regalarius 0
Man, you haven't been paying attention, have you? :-P
FarSide 23
He sounds like self-righteous, and that is quite disgusting as well.
scrubalub 0
I'm not self righteous. And I'm not a male. But you can't really tell from my screen name so I'll let it slide. I was just making an observation to the conversation at hand...because lately in society people are laughed at for being virgins. I'm not sure why. If the girl in this FML isn't a **** and the boy just said it as a joke, then her life sucks. But she never made any attempt to deny his statement, which leaves room to question. Why does this even matter? Whatever.
noni_mus 0
I wouldn't consider it an FML if I had a funny friend
Kris2476 0
I agree with him. I wouldn't want to have sex with someone who has had sex so freely with dozens of other people.