Today, I learned that a spontaneous romantic gesture of arriving home early with flowers and wine is not welcome when your wife is busy having sex with your brother. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I learned that a spontaneous romantic gesture of arriving home early with flowers and wine is not welcome when your wife is busy having sex with your brother. FML
Today, I rushed home because my wife called to let me know she was feeling horny for the first time after getting over a bad flu. I walked in the door and surprise surprise, her sister had called round, wanting sympathy after her latest fuckbuddy dumped her. Romantic mood ruined. FML
Today, I went home early from a business trip to find my house covered with rose petals. Thinking it was a romantic notion from my boyfriend, I went up to the bedroom. I opened the door to find him lying there, getting it on with my sister. FML
Today, I realized our life has been lacking in romance lately, so I got a card, a bunch of flowers, and made reservations at a lovely restaurant for a nice evening. When I got home and gave my wife the flowers, all she did was sigh and ask what I "fucked up this time." She also refused to go to dinner. FML
Today, I sent the kids to my parents' house, tidied the house, and made reservations for a fancy restaurant, hoping to surprise my wife. When she got home and I handed her flowers, she sighed and said, "Can you stop with the stupid romance shit? It's embarrassing. We're six years married, not two moonstruck kids." FML
Today, I caught my wife trying to give herself oral sex. It was sexy and also kinda funny, so I offered to do it to her properly. She got explosively mad for some reason and actually threw me out. I’m writing this from my brother's spare room, wondering where I went wrong. FML
Today, my wife told me she had a surprise for me when I came home. Surprise to me means sex, not a new puppy. FML
Today, on a whim, I bought my wife some flowers on my way home. She put them in a vase then asked me what stupid thing I did that I’m pre-apologising for. She refuses to believe I bought her flowers for any other reason. Man, I must be a really shitty husband. FML
Today, I sent a text message to my girlfriend telling her how much I wanted to make love to her tonight. I've just realized I sent it to her brother. FML
Today, I got flowers at work. I was excited, until I saw they were from a friend saying, "Sorry for sleeping with your boyfriend!" FML
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Top comments
Nykaen 0
Dude... Leave her, she is worthless. And disown your brother... No man should ever do that to family.
crazyval619 6
Dude that sucks.
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Comments (176)
crazyval619 6
Dude that sucks.
genius_man16 1
^^ /understatement Finally a real FML. I am so sorry dude. I have no idea what you should do, other than the obvious killing of your brother and divorcing of the wifey.
Kiwi_Splash 0
Lost a love and a family member. Good luck with the heartache... Takes a quarter of a man to do what your brother did, and a complete ***** to do what your wife did. I hope you will soon acknowledge that they are never meant to be in your life.
xianwei 0
yes, you should kill your brother. or have sex with his wife and daughter if he does have one
FarSide 23
Still, flowers say "I Love You" and are always appreciated.
BUDWEISER 0
FINALLY THEY GET A GOOD FML. Dude that hella sucks. you should dump that bitch and ship her to some random ass deserted ****** island.
AndelleRae 9
Uhm... And daughter? Incest as revenge, not so much.
cuzitwasgood 3
U dumb shit. What the hell do you think incest is? My god, ur the person who thinks it's cool and normal to be screwing your cousin...
BurpusMe 0
DTB!! (Dump the bitach!)
NCISagentMcGee 0
yes...blood relation...that's still incest you dumbass
Spartoob 0
learning is good.
persiancutie 0
im so sorry for having a brother as a bastard and a wife as a *****, divorce her leave her with nothing and beat the shit out of your bro and make his love life miserable, go after every women he goes out with
Antivirus_fml 0
Maybe for you, but not for everyone. douchbag!
dani_p 0
tha ****? that's such a ridiculous ******* statement.
sandiejenkins 0
Yes, he should have sex with his niece. Dumbass.
garuru 4
i hope u broke that wine bottle over his head
shumian 4
you're an idiot.
nycyoon 4
Lol
Majrdestroy 20
My brother would get his ass beat, wife divorced but only after and sending a video to my parents and hers so I ruined both their lives.
melodyalam 0
Ouch :/
Clare420 0
I like funny FMLs better than sad ones :(
tyler004 0
I agree sad ones suck soo bad:( poor guy.. I hope he doesn't have any children:(
Iloveblackmen 0
damn... sorry dude, DUMP HER
Scarlettx7 0
Good thing you found out
tuxedoandex 28
yeah, you dump your wife, right? that's what everyone does, right?
BuMbLeBeE_46 0
owe, leave her
mochiko 0
beat the shit out of your brother. then kill ur wife. yay
natsumosam92 0
that seems like the best option and preferably, do the beating with a baseball bat.
CrazyDutch 0
Donnie darko hell yeah!!!!
vickiejiang1990 0
maybe she has an explanation... wait.. "maybe she tripped, fell and landed on his ****" lol
mdmenchaca 5
isn't that from "guilty conscious"
Simranbgg 4
That has a big chance of happening you know . Most stats of cheaters show that
Nykaen 0
Dude... Leave her, she is worthless. And disown your brother... No man should ever do that to family.
cucuto89 0
yea, what happened to the bro code?
iplaylax 0
preferably do so with a katana - the most honorable of weapons
Lythnia 0
Cheating and near-incest? Lovely. Your life is definitely ******...
Mandred_fml 0
How is this incest? His brother is her brother IN LAW.... No blood relation what so ever.
julz017 0
your reading comprehension sucks. she said near incest. because they're supposed to be family albeit through marriage.
skullbuster 0
So what's the deal here, did your brother inherit all the family jewels or is he just better in the sack?
D40 2
Ur an ass
qwertyone 0
Double betrayal...ouch.
americayay 0
Aw. True FML for once. Bust the bottle over her head and stab him with the broken shards. Little dark, huh?