Today, I was talking with a close friend (who is a virgin) about why he didn't want to have sex with a prostitute. He told me that, "It's not nice to know that the girl you are having sex with has slept with half the country." He then added, "That's exactly why I wouldn't have sex with you." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out the only reason why a friend of mine even bothered talking to me. He thought that I'd sleep with him if he was nice enough. FML
Today, someone in class was making a point about premarital intercourse - "90% of teen virgins aren't saving it for marriage, they just can't get any." Another classmate pointed me out specifically. FML
Today, just like at every gynecologist's appointment in the last 5 years, I had to yet again explain that no, I'm not a virgin at 27 because I'm waiting till marriage, I'm just a loser that no-one wants to sleep with. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had a friend over. This friend was talking about how two girls were trying to get with him. My boyfriend said, "I wouldn't ever fuck the blonde one, but I would do the other one in a heartbeat." Then, realizing what he'd just said, he hesitantly added, "…if I was single." FML
Today, my boyfriend of three years decided it was finally time to have sex. After we did, he told me that he was sleeping with another girl. He wanted to have sex with me to see who was better. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Today, I found out that the girl I went on a date with, and refused to sleep with me because she, “doesn’t have sex on the first date” had no qualms about sleeping with my buddy on his first date with her. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. Afterwards, he told me that he was only doing this because he wanted to know if he still truly loves his girlfriend. FML
Today, I was having sex with a guy I met at my friend's party. He stopped mid-thrust, climbed off, and started talking about how nervous he is about buying his first car next week. FML
Today, a cute girl was telling me about her weird fetishes. I jokingly said, "Remind me never to have sex with you". She replied, "Don't worry, I have standards". FML
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Top comments
ChiliRamen 0
Sounds like a conversation I had with a very close friend of mine. Then we ended up dating :-p
qwertyone 0
It sounds like he was joking. That or you actually do sleep around too much. For the sake of humanity I hope it's the former.
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Comments (172)
TheElfThatLied 0
That doesn't put YOU in the best light. I'll say FYL 'cause that wasn't a nice thing to say (unless he was joking) but, unless you had feelings for him, and was planning to take his virginity yourself, I don't see how it could offend you THAT much...
Anonanimal 0
lmfao YDI for sleeping around!
omg_fml608 0
HARSH.
dany_luvs_music 0
all i can say is: i hope you weren't in love with him. and if its true you are a ****, YDI and also FHL for having a friend like you. but if not, FYL and hopefully your friends are better informed before making any kind of assumptions.
tbagg74 0
he prolly just couldnt even get a prostitute, ***** rule anyways
thecoldhardtruth 0
#19 r u ******* retarted? "couldnt even get a prostitute?" r u sure u know what a prostitute is?
Carribu 0
"***** rule"? Only a **** would say that.
septemberlovebug 0
its "retarded" not retarted.. god, learn how to spell.. dumbass
philly8608 0
It's "it's" not its ... god, learn how to use contractions, dumbass.
nobodysees 0
Actually it is 'its'.
yourstcar 0
Nope, it's 'it's.' Contraction of 'it' and 'is.'
lunaticsol 0
lol @ #53 and 79. you're both retarded ( unless you're the same person).
philly8608 0
Wow, don't try to correct grammar on the internet (basic rule of thumb), especially if you don't follow the basic rules yourself. Its = possessive. As in, "The ant could not find its home." It's = it is. As in, "It's awfully silly to use incorrect grammar to correct someone else's incorrect grammar."
FarSide 23
...and dumbass is two words, dumb asses..
philly8608 0
Actually dumbass, dumb-ass and dumb ass are all acceptable.
metheonlyb 17
You guys are so ******* hilarious!! ******* grammar Nazi. I have a nice laugh! But yeah you people have a good point! HAHAHAHAHAHA
septemberlovebug 0
I corrected his spelling not his grammar, douche bag!
baec 2
basically he told you you were ugly and a *****, so you can't fault the guy since its probably true. You are either really ugly, or you have slept with so many people it doesn't matter how good looking you are. Unless its a combination of both of these. Hey he is just being honest
paperfox_fml 0
Why is it that as soon as FML commenters even suspect a lady might have had more than one sexual partner they start baying for blood and spitting '****' all over the place? What are you all, sexually repressed 12 year olds?
englishmuffin 0
I don't think it's the fact that a woman has had more than one partner... it's if she appears to be indiscriminate about it she earns the **** label. Someone who appears to have sex with almost anyone isn't as attractive as someone who has standards.
FarSide 23
I think whoremonger is equally as telling, and as fitting to the male species.
tarheel22893 0
OWNED
summer99 0
i dont see why you're getting offended..if there is no way that it's true then obviously you know he was joking. on the other hand, for you to post an FML about, it apparently is true, in which case YDI.
andlifesuxagain 0
There is nothing wrong with a man OR a Woman giving community service. Personnally, I think people should sleep around more (safely), the world would be in a much better mood.. especially on the drive home. As for the OP, your friend is a prude.. not sayin sleep with a prostitute but damn man it, stop keeping that shit locked up like fort knox
FarSide 23
You offered an interesting point of view... and then use a pseudonym of "andlifesuxagain"? Ever wonder if your thought patterns dictate your circumstances?
andlifesuxagain 0
actually its modified from a movie