Today, I was talking with a close friend (who is a virgin) about why he didn't want to have sex with a prostitute. He told me that, "It's not nice to know that the girl you are having sex with has slept with half the country." He then added, "That's exactly why I wouldn't have sex with you." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out the only reason why a friend of mine even bothered talking to me. He thought that I'd sleep with him if he was nice enough. FML
Today, someone in class was making a point about premarital intercourse - "90% of teen virgins aren't saving it for marriage, they just can't get any." Another classmate pointed me out specifically. FML
Today, just like at every gynecologist's appointment in the last 5 years, I had to yet again explain that no, I'm not a virgin at 27 because I'm waiting till marriage, I'm just a loser that no-one wants to sleep with. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had a friend over. This friend was talking about how two girls were trying to get with him. My boyfriend said, "I wouldn't ever fuck the blonde one, but I would do the other one in a heartbeat." Then, realizing what he'd just said, he hesitantly added, "…if I was single." FML
Today, my boyfriend of three years decided it was finally time to have sex. After we did, he told me that he was sleeping with another girl. He wanted to have sex with me to see who was better. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Today, I found out that the girl I went on a date with, and refused to sleep with me because she, “doesn’t have sex on the first date” had no qualms about sleeping with my buddy on his first date with her. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. Afterwards, he told me that he was only doing this because he wanted to know if he still truly loves his girlfriend. FML
Today, I was having sex with a guy I met at my friend's party. He stopped mid-thrust, climbed off, and started talking about how nervous he is about buying his first car next week. FML
Today, a cute girl was telling me about her weird fetishes. I jokingly said, "Remind me never to have sex with you". She replied, "Don't worry, I have standards". FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ChiliRamen 0
Sounds like a conversation I had with a very close friend of mine. Then we ended up dating :-p
qwertyone 0
It sounds like he was joking. That or you actually do sleep around too much. For the sake of humanity I hope it's the former.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (172)
p00p0ster0us 0
Strange thing for the guy to say. Whether or not you're a ***** is irrelevant, he shouldn't have said that. I forsee a bitter life for him. Now, I think it's nice to think that one is special and one of very few who have come to know a woman so intimately but to make that sort of attack seems weird. Like we're missing something here.
FarSide 23
Mega Dittoes
FarSide 23
My, aren't we bitter...
elchapin562 0
YDI you're encouraging homeboy to get an STD
FarSide 23
Well THANK YOU for your educated attempt to sort this out. Now, STFU. By the way, you have three hands dumbass.
FarSide 23
Is that true, Charlize?
Gaby_peaceandluv 0
The OP's name is unlucky... but they seem to have gotten lucky enough times ;)
BabaBlackShirt 0
Why the **** does everyone feel the need to solve OP's problem? It's FML, almost half this shit is questionable.
lafraz_fml 0
your a ****
NCISagentMcGee 0
you're**
fantasy_ 0
wow thats horrible but YDI for being a **** o.O
SuicideSaint_fml 0
Condoms, seriously.