Today, my boyfriend and I had a friend over. This friend was talking about how two girls were trying to get with him. My boyfriend said, "I wouldn't ever fuck the blonde one, but I would do the other one in a heartbeat." Then, realizing what he'd just said, he hesitantly added, "…if I was single." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I went to a party. He got drunk and started talking about how his hot blonde girlfriend gives him great blowjobs. I'm a brunette. FML
Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend of one year when an attractive girl walks over. She asks him, "Is this your girlfriend?" He replied "That depends... are you single?" FML
Today, I heard my boyfriend telling a female friend that his ex was so gorgeous and out of his league that it made him feel inadequate, and so he now only dates within reach. She told him he's hot enough to have anyone he wants. 30 seconds later they were tongue-deep in each other's throat. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I had to go out and that I'd be back later. He asked where I was going. "To see my other boyfriend," I chuckled, smiling. He took it seriously and wouldn't believe it was just a joke. I'm pretty sure I'm now single. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend and one of his friends have been having sex with each other. His excuse? "She's my best friend, we do this all the time." I have been dating him for over a year. FML
Today, my boyfriend came out as a polyamorous, and then immediately asked me if he could date another guy I thought was my friend. I’m such a pushover, I said yes. FML
Today, an attractive guy told me he wanted to get to know me and see me again. When I told my boyfriend, in hopes of stirring up some jealousy, he said "he'll regret it when he finds out what you're like in bed, trust me." FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend was crushing on his best friend. When I found out, I asked him about it. He replied, "Don't worry, she's perfect and is way too good for me." FML
Today, my boyfriend let it slip that he thinks of my best friend when he masturbates because he like to have the "freedom and variety." FML
Today, my boyfriend convinced a girl at the club to break up with her boyfriend and go home with him. She did. Now I'm single too. FML
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Top comments
whiskey'swino 15
Sometimes the smaller head thinks faster than the larger one.
sunnyray812 42
Sorry but no normal person wants to hear about their significant other drooling all over another person.
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Comments (36)
BurnInDemonFire 39
Dump him, then **** both girls just to spite him.
weaboo 12
Sounds hot
whiskey'swino 15
Sometimes the smaller head thinks faster than the larger one.
RichardPencil 32
Dump him and find someone less attractive. He’ll always be more trouble than he’s worth.
acmariner99 25
And then he was.
ohsnapword 21
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Give me a break. If you're that insecure in your relationship that you would get upset about your boyfriend talking about having sex with other women, you need to reevaluate your priorites in one. This demonstrates that you are too immature for a serious relationship. My wife and I always talk about the thought of having sex with other people. We both know that the other would never act on it.
wanted_2_want 40
That’s what you thought about your wife. Just sayin’.
Shabnam Moghal 14
And that is why you're single.
123Puppy 33
You two shouldn't be lusting after other people. Your focus should only be on each other.
sunnyray812 42
Sorry but no normal person wants to hear about their significant other drooling all over another person.
Levi2411 41
If you or a loved one hit any of the criteria in this comment, you may need marriage counseling! Please call 1-800-enterpoly or call your nearest clinic for further advice. Thank you
ohsnapword 21
I wouldn't call it "lusting after other people". It's perfectly natural to find people, other than your significant other, attractive. When either of us is out with friends, the subject of who one wants to have sex with comes up from time to time. Mostly, it's which celebrities we would have sex with. Sometimes a conversation like the OP's would come up. It never bothers us. I was not aware that this is supposed to bother us. i'm going to have to re-evaluate the last 13 years of my life.
Justin Allan Bannister 9
it's fine to have sexual fantasies and sharing it with your significant other!!!! geeze, you're married, not buried!!!
bluhbluhbluh 14
Grant him his wish!
RichardPencil 32
Where are you, PenguinPal3017? We are all waiting for you to officially declare this a sticky situation.
RichardPencil 32
Too much, if you must know! I thought it was a sure thing, a lock. Ooh, my poor kneecaps!
BeachMammal 8
If he speaks that crudely about women, why do you want to even be with him? He's a jerk.
tounces7 28
Guys say that to their guy-friends all the time. Usually without actually meaning it.
TumblrweedPasses 11
It was an odd thing to say but it's just something he said to sound cool in front of the friend I'm sure Don't pay too much into it
tounces7 28
Eh, at least he backtracked it. He was only commenting on their general appearance, doesn't mean he plans to cheat on you.