Today, I went on a first date. Everything was going well until he asked me, "So, what's the biggest thing you've stuck up your vag?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend was about to go down on me as foreplay before losing his virginity and he actually poked my clitoris and said, "What’s this thing?" FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my vagina. He replied, "What's that?" FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy I met online. While cuddling on the couch, he asked me for a blow job. I refused. He said, "But I thought big girls liked doing that." FML
Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML
Today, my date was about to go down on me when he burst out laughing. I'd bought some new sexy panties, which apparently had a sticker on them that came off and got stuck to me. It seems my vagina had been examined by employee No.32 for quality control purposes. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. The first words that came out of his mouth were, "Rape isn't that bad if you think about it." FML
Today, I went on my first date in 8 years. While we were looking at the menu, the guy said: "So if you're vegetarian, why're you so fat?" FML
Today, my date dropped me off at home and briefly met my parents. As he was leaving he whispered into my ear, "I want to feel the inside of your vagina with the outside of my penis." My parents totally heard. FML
Today, my boyfriend stated that we should play a game where one person asks the other a question, and they answer it with a picture. I thought it sounded fun so I said yes. His first question was, "Do you shave your vagina?" FML
Today, my boyfriend stated that we should play a game where one person asks the other a question, and they answer it with a picture. I thought it sounded fun so I said yes. His first question was, "Do you shave your minge?" FML
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Top comments
foxwasalamb 24
what the ****..? maybe its a clever way of saying he has a large penis
HappyItalian 38
"Probably not you."
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Comments (122)
Witchylady 18
And what was your reply?
elizacandle 29
should've said , well it's definitely not your penis.
allplayedout 20
"What's the biggest thing you've ever stuck up your ass? Was it bigger or smaller than my foot?"
lincolnstars 7
????? That still leaves a burning question.
xvrhdez 5
Allright let me break the code here, when a guy starts talking like that is usually when he thinks is not worth his time trying to hard for you
vikky538 29
you can counter that by asking the same "what's biggest thing you have stuck up in your ass"...he is an ass..
steftriv 18
At least you a dodged that bullet!
TPrice21 2
The first thing I thought when I read this was "wow, that guy got a date" I haven't gotten that far yet.
ostfaiz 18
ridiculous!..run baby
demonfacee 14
Wow. Looks like he just wants sex.