Today, I went on a first date. Everything was going well until he asked me, "So, what's the biggest thing you've stuck up your vag?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend was about to go down on me as foreplay before losing his virginity and he actually poked my clitoris and said, "What’s this thing?" FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my vagina. He replied, "What's that?" FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy I met online. While cuddling on the couch, he asked me for a blow job. I refused. He said, "But I thought big girls liked doing that." FML
Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML
Today, my date was about to go down on me when he burst out laughing. I'd bought some new sexy panties, which apparently had a sticker on them that came off and got stuck to me. It seems my vagina had been examined by employee No.32 for quality control purposes. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. The first words that came out of his mouth were, "Rape isn't that bad if you think about it." FML
Today, I went on my first date in 8 years. While we were looking at the menu, the guy said: "So if you're vegetarian, why're you so fat?" FML
Today, my date dropped me off at home and briefly met my parents. As he was leaving he whispered into my ear, "I want to feel the inside of your vagina with the outside of my penis." My parents totally heard. FML
Today, my boyfriend stated that we should play a game where one person asks the other a question, and they answer it with a picture. I thought it sounded fun so I said yes. His first question was, "Do you shave your vagina?" FML
Today, my boyfriend stated that we should play a game where one person asks the other a question, and they answer it with a picture. I thought it sounded fun so I said yes. His first question was, "Do you shave your minge?" FML
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Top comments
foxwasalamb 24
what the ****..? maybe its a clever way of saying he has a large penis
HappyItalian 38
"Probably not you."
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Comments (122)
Steven696 6
So what did you tell him? Not that I'm curious at all..
rayman173 2
A Puppy
aubama_fml 15
how about your fist in his face
99treee 7
Or a fist down there for her!(;
MortenM 17
A fist and a face at the same time would be quite impressive.
Gabilliam 19
I was on a date with a guy last week, he told me I had wonderful birthing hips, and he wanted me to bear his children! O_O Guys are so creepy sometimes...
DomiLove 26
At least you have wonderful birthing hips though :p
devildog562 33
People , people are creepy. Remember the girl wrapping her legs around the one night stand saying "have my baby"?
Adeptus_Astartes 22
Isnt that from another FML where that guy's mom said his girlfriend had "great birthing hips?"
ForNerdfighteria 9
I remember her!
bobdlawr 8
Holy crap where the hell you all looking for guys?
londoner86 13
WHR. Waist to hip ratio. Supposedly key determinant of attractiveness and universal across cultures, ages (even as views on other features have differed). http://www.scienceofrelationships.com/home/2013/11/11/curves-ahead-the-science-of-female-waist-to-hip-ratio-and-at.html
Vlen_fml 20
Was his name Miroku by any chance?
simplysarcastics 26
That would be my cue to end the date. He seems obnoxious and gross
DJviper_fml 5
a pool cue would be impressive too...
HazelGrace 10
He is probably from America
Welshite 40
What is that supposed to mean? I can assure you that most Americans (male or female) would not say that to a woman if they had any self-respect.
99treee 7
You should of replied with "Your ego"
GnrlKitty 16
So... What IS the largest thing you've stuck up your vag?
PresidentNorth 16
Well someone had to ask.
yuzuhere 21
Curiosity kills the cun- I mean cat.
DJviper_fml 5
curiosity kills the pu$$y
more4me 27
"Obviously not you." Next !
worldclassrager 41
The biggest thing you have had is my foot while I kick you out of my life... That question is never appropriate
asa2000 4
Because it won't be my dick