Today, I went to the dentist for the first time in years. His first comment upon inspecting my teeth: "Meth. Hell of a drug." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I met my new dentist. His teeth are worse than mine. FML
Today, I had all four of my wisdom teeth extracted. Under anesthesia I told the dentist my entire love life and drug history in detail. FML
Today, I went to the dentist. After drilling my teeth for what seemed like hours, he gave me a long speech about how if I continue to smoke, the yellowing of my teeth won't be the only problem. I don't smoke. I never have. FML
Today, I was able to get dental care for the first time in 4 years. I had been going through all the hygiene motions, but without professional input all that time, no one was there to warn me about the sour candies I had been eating, and how they ruined your teeth anyway. My teeth are well beyond salvageable now. FML
Today, I told a friend I was going to the dentist for the first time in years. He immediately replied, "Yay! Teeth whitening!" I hadn't mentioned teeth whitening. I'm not even going for teeth whitening. -5 XP new insecurity unlocked. FML
Today, my dentist asked me if I floss regularly. Wanting to avoid judgment, I lied and said yes. He nodded, started cleaning my teeth, then pulled out an entire popcorn kernel that had apparently been living in my gums long enough to pay rent. FML
Today, my dentist told me I have 8 cavities. I'd jokingly bragged about never having a single cavity for 25 years right before he started checking. He laughed and said, "Well, that lucky streak is over!" then went on to drill the shit out of my teeth. I still can't feel the left side of my face. FML
Today, while my orthodontist was working on my teeth, she made the comment, "Wow! It looks like a murder scene in there!" FML
Today, I went to the dentist, telling him proudly that I had flossed for two straight weeks. The dentist told me that flossing wouldn't undo “Whatever happened back there.” FML
Today, my dentist told me I had a good tongue. That's the best compliment I've gotten in months. FML
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Top comments
patrickalamo 48
Brush and floss twice a day...
Desi_D123 27
Quite a charmer your dentist is
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Comments (73)
haileyrows 26
Ooh- that bites
snazzymcwho 21
Haaaaah! They can always tell! ;)
incoherentrmblr 22
Does OP do Meth, that's the question...
FMLusername969 21
#87. If he was a meth addict he would be all over the place and certainly would not be sitting in a dentist's chair.....or writing an FML about it.
Mohamedegypt 13
unless it's post rehab, the damage will still be there but the addiction and reaction will be gone.
blondeamazonian 18
What a charming bedside manner...
Desi_D123 27
Quite a charmer your dentist is
TwoXMike 14
I didnt know Yoda used FML :)
peceout 29
May the floss be with you. (I tried)
Naith 14
There is no try. There is only do
dakotaabriannee 14
It's said the dentist is brutal.
Hauclir 14
Invest in a tooth brush and use it.
mikepzz 27
Won't help when your teeth are blown out
ARealCarrot 11
Well. meth is bad. maybe he was talking about it but not based on your teeth. but yeanah.. that's gotta burn
Cads1 24
Dentists, always inflicting pain one way or another.
danthehuman 29
"drugs ydi" - all the ydis
blinked_281 29
Even if they don't use meth, if their teeth are that disgusting it is their fault.
patrickalamo 48
Brush and floss twice a day...