Today, my co-worker and I were having a conversation in Russian. Our boss overheard us talking, shouted, "I know you're talking about me! I speak Spanish too!" and threatened to fire us. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boss is on the phone with a Russian customer, who keeps saying, "Speak Russian please!" My boss asks me to translate, as he hired me for my knowledge of Russian. He says something, I translate in Russian, then the customer says, "Speak English please!" FML
Today, while working at Subway I joked with a customer asking him if he was going to order in Spanish. The women in front of him began yelling about how I was being racist and told my manager that I needed to be fired. The customer I was joking with was my Spanish teacher. FML
Today, on my second shift at my job, I was fired for “ruining the communication of coworkers” AKA I don’t speak Spanish. This was known before I was hired and I live in California. FML
Today, my boss got angry at me because my English is better than his. He accused me of trying to steal his management position, and implied that I'll be lucky if I still have a job by the end of the month. FML
Today, I was unable to communicate with a customer who only spoke French. As a result, my boss called me a "monolingual idiot." I speak Spanish, German, and Japanese. FML
Today, I overheard my boss and a co-worker talking about me. Apparently when I speak, I slur my words so badly that it sounds like I'm speaking in tongues. According to my boss, "he could be possessed by a demon right now, and we'd never even notice." FML
Today, I overheard my boss talking about me on the phone. Turns out he was drunk off his ass when he gave the go-ahead to hire me, and he's now searching for any excuse to legally fire me. FML
Today, my boss's son is training to take over my job as head translator, after having convinced his dad that he's fluent in Spanish, and that my skills suck. I soon walked in on him using Google Translate on a legal document. My boss refuses to believe me. FML
Today, my boss threatened to write me up, after I made a slightly rude joke about a coworker everyone hates. A while later, a colleague told me the same joke. Turns out my boss had gone around telling it to everyone else and taking all the credit. FML
Today, a client came in and was struggling to speak properly. He said, “Sorry, no good English” so I offered a Spanish speaking colleague who could assist. He frowned and said he was from Greece. He threw a fit and got my manager involved. I got a write up and have to do an online sensitivity training. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ifyacantbeatem 5
Se habla?
b1ggerb1tch 0
talk about a dumb boss, Russian sounds nothing like Spanish .-.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (128)
ifyacantbeatem 5
Se habla?
JustDerpin 11
In Soviet Russia, your boss speaks Spanish
starflyer59 17
This is the funniest thing I've read all week!!
Mideoyeo 12
Well IF he does fire you and your friend then you can take him to court and make him look stupid (:
TourettesGuyFTW 26
How do people THAT stupid even get work in the first place, let alone a position of authority???
deBlobX 12
In Soviet Russia I kill Polar Bear and swap for baby
Urpoppy 21
#1 Your boss is a complete moron. No surprise there. #2 In California it is illegal to penalize anyone for speaking any other language at work. This may be a state law or federal, but worth finding out. #3 Your boss is a complete moron.
Inediblepeaches 15
93- The FML is from Minnesota, not California.
Futacy 30
You have to work for that moron?
MDTeddy 13
Why can't people speak in their own language? -_-
sens3sfailing 25
102-that wasn't the point. The point was thy knew that at least in California people could not be penalized for this reason and was worth looking into if it applies in Minnesota as well. Am I the only one who reads a comment twice at least to try to understand a comment fully before I respond to it so I don't make an idiot of myself? (I know I am not, it just feels that way when I see so many idiot replays to comments that made sense if you thought about it using your brain)
sens3sfailing 25
Replies*
erinchick1 7
Your boss is ignorant! My boss is Russian too!
gabrayal 10
Your comment goes very well with what your picture says. Smh
brackaman 18
The two sentences you typed really have nothing to do with each other..
loloalltheway 23
Can't we all just get along ?
zandalee 20
I know right! I actually thought it was a cute comment.... Bless
fmlallthetyme 23
It is possible to drown a fish though....
TourettesGuyFTW 26
By the time you get to this comment, you will have lost 32 braincells...
erinchick1 7
Actually you can drown a fish. Put a freshwater fish in salt water and it will drown or put a saltwater fish in fresh water and it will drown.
283leis 8
Lol yup! Just put in a bucket of bloody water and the fish will drown. I've seen it be done!
IworkAt711 14
This is probably the dumbest thread I've come across in quite a while.
purpledrizzle 5
Don't worry OP, he's just jealous.
TheMaster15 10
Джаз плут вдхр. (:
nerobluerose 10
31- Spanish isn't allowed on this sight. This is an English site. Gtfo.
ASD_K 11
34 - Not English, American you moron >.
Welshite 40
#56: I can't tell if you are joking or not. I hope for your sake you are.
ConBroChilll 9
31- i bet you went to google translate and typed in that. if you want to actually speak russian like me or anyone else who does, actually learn the god damn language.
B3Y0ND 3
65- Talk about jumping to conclusions...
TheMaster15 10
65 - actually, I have the Russian keyboard on my phone because I really want to get to learn the language. I have no idea what I said, for all I know I could've just told the whole Russian community that I like cocks.
DanniNell 13
#34 - Don't you mean, 'Spanish isn't allowed on this site' not 'sight'? After all isn't this an English site?
Kondustra 8
#88 - The point, youve completely missed it
b1ggerb1tch 0
talk about a dumb boss, Russian sounds nothing like Spanish .-.
priceyfml 7
Ikr I don't speak Spanish or Russian but I do know that they sound nothing a like
Forlorn420 9
Maybe the op needs to have a conversation with her boss and see how long they can keep it up before the boss realizes that he's a dumbass
kakarot2 11
Actually Russian sounds pretty similar to spanish accent wise. R's for example are also doubled. Of course, they are not similar enough to confuse them that easily.
Feared 9
It doesn't matter. The most interesting man in the world ( Dos Equis ) can speak German in French. There is a chance that the boss can understand Russian in Spanish.
chrisbreastr0kr 11
I happen to speak both fluently (family is Russian and 4 years of Spanish) and they sound absolutely nothing alike and the languages have very few things in common
Awsemogreeb 19
Conversion?
vocaloidtiger 12
Assumptions: They often make the person who assumed something look like a complete idiot. In this case, your boss.
NanillaVipples 2
"Assuming makes an ass out of you and me." - my Grandma (or at least that's who I heard it from, I realize she probably didn't coin the phrase)
vocaloidtiger 12
68 - Hehe, that's what my friend's mom always says.
laden_swallow09 35
68- I've heard that and an offshoot of it, "Assumption is the mother of all ****-ups." Under Siege 2: Dark Territory. I'm not proud to admit I've watched that movie all the way through. Segal still did pretty well, though.
theamazingone_12 7
wow it must really suck to work for someone that ignorant
lostcrazydiamond 10
Не хорошо. I don't know how you can't tell the difference between Russian and Spanish.
cheeryoe 5
You said not good. :D haha I'm smart.
mfischer 17
16 - And once again google translate assists monolingual folk seem like they know what they're talking about.
lostcrazydiamond 10
Actually, I speak fluent Russian. I've spent four years learning it. It's nessesary for my career choice. I also speak Chinese and basic Spanish, so I assure you I'm far from monolingual.
lostcrazydiamond 10
That was directed at 16... I apologize. Nevermind.
Sehra98 5
I believe he was talking to 16 who tried to translate what you said. Edit: Nevermind! Haha.
brenkite 5
Говоро по русски. Two years of Russian class, barely any bilingual abilities. Maybe I should learn my first language better.
dannykazzy 1
Шакал бос!:0
brackaman 18
Isn't management great? Tell him he's retarded in english and he'll likely mistake it for saying he's awesome in swahili.
olpally 33
What a moron... Faith in humanity -300... Spanish and Russian are two totally different languages.
rattusrattus 19
I did once encounter someone online who claimed that Spanish and 'Cryllic' were the same language. I hope the boss in the OP is not the same guy, because that guy was a conspiracy nut who hated everyone and thought 'the banks' backed the Soviet Union. Probably not. It's worrying when I find myself hoping that two people are stupid enough to think Spanish and Russian are the same language though. :(