Today, I had to explain to my mother that she needed to buy a new mattress, telling her that we could hear the springs rattling every time she had sex with my dad. She then went on to explain that that is why they have sex on my bed when I'm not home. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML
Today, I was doing a shit load of sit-ups on my mattress. After realizing the bed was squeaking, I heard my dad laughing very hard from the basement. He thought I was masturbating. FML
Today, I was masturbating on my inflatable air mattress that squeaks when you move. Suddenly, my mom burst into my room to ask if I was okay because she thought the squeaking was me crying. I ripped my hands from my pants and turned on my side; she walked over and grabbed my hands to console me. FML
Today, I heard my parents having sex for the first time so I turned the TV up really loud to drown out the noise, and a minute or two later my mom comes downstairs in this skimpy nightgown to ask me why the TV was so loud and, seeing the horror on my face, kept asking what was wrong with me. FML
Today, I had to have an awkward conversation with my parents when they told me they were able to hear me and my boyfriend having sex at night. FML
Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML
Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML
Today, I bought my kids new mattresses for their new beds. Within 24 hours my son did a cannon ball onto his sister's bed to prove that it wouldn't break. The box spring snapped in half. FML
Today, I heard my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been so bad if we weren't in the same hotel room. They thought I was asleep. FML
Today, my parents were helping me construct my bed. We ended up not having enough screws to properly secure the frame. My dad mentioned that it might cause problems if I got a girl into my bed. My mom said, "Don't worry about it, we all know that's not going to happen." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
RichardPencil 32
I don't know whether to tell you to never leave home or never go home again! Either has cringeworthy consequences!
Zach Ertzberger 7
Sick burn, mom. 🤣
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (3)
RichardPencil 32
I don't know whether to tell you to never leave home or never go home again! Either has cringeworthy consequences!
JasonThorn 23
Me: "...YOU'RE SOLVING THE WRONG PROBLEM!!"
Zach Ertzberger 7
Sick burn, mom. 🤣