Today, I went to the dentist for the first time in years. His first comment upon inspecting my teeth: "Meth. Hell of a drug." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I met my new dentist. His teeth are worse than mine. FML
Today, I had all four of my wisdom teeth extracted. Under anesthesia I told the dentist my entire love life and drug history in detail. FML
Today, I went to the dentist. After drilling my teeth for what seemed like hours, he gave me a long speech about how if I continue to smoke, the yellowing of my teeth won't be the only problem. I don't smoke. I never have. FML
Today, I was able to get dental care for the first time in 4 years. I had been going through all the hygiene motions, but without professional input all that time, no one was there to warn me about the sour candies I had been eating, and how they ruined your teeth anyway. My teeth are well beyond salvageable now. FML
Today, I told a friend I was going to the dentist for the first time in years. He immediately replied, "Yay! Teeth whitening!" I hadn't mentioned teeth whitening. I'm not even going for teeth whitening. -5 XP new insecurity unlocked. FML
Today, my dentist asked me if I floss regularly. Wanting to avoid judgment, I lied and said yes. He nodded, started cleaning my teeth, then pulled out an entire popcorn kernel that had apparently been living in my gums long enough to pay rent. FML
Today, my dentist told me I have 8 cavities. I'd jokingly bragged about never having a single cavity for 25 years right before he started checking. He laughed and said, "Well, that lucky streak is over!" then went on to drill the shit out of my teeth. I still can't feel the left side of my face. FML
Today, while my orthodontist was working on my teeth, she made the comment, "Wow! It looks like a murder scene in there!" FML
Today, I went to the dentist, telling him proudly that I had flossed for two straight weeks. The dentist told me that flossing wouldn't undo “Whatever happened back there.” FML
Today, my dentist told me I had a good tongue. That's the best compliment I've gotten in months. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
patrickalamo 48
Brush and floss twice a day...
Desi_D123 27
Quite a charmer your dentist is
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (73)
zenrael 21
Coming from a dentist who deals with humans and their disgusting mouths daily. Brush your god damn mouth.
AndyPurdy 31
Lmao?
clitoria 15
Just FYI to some of these comments, some people just have naturally, "screwed up", or in-perfect teeth, no matter how much care they've given to 'em.
swanheart 35
Well, we don't know that the dentist was referring to the ops teeth. It could be that the meth the dentist had just taken was starting to kick in and he wanted to share the feeling with op.
Keladrylady 24
Some people have a genetic tooth/gum rapid deterioration... Sometimes.. It's genuinely not their fault.
PennyLane27 32
IF you've got a financial reason for having poor dental hygiene, then FYL. IF you've got some disorder that causes shitty teeth- FYL. However, meth-mouth is pretty distinguishable. If you're doing meth- I have ZERO sympathy for you. In fact, your teeth deserve to rot in your mouth, and your mouth deserves to rot in Hell. I've witnessed first hand how f*cked up things can get with a low-life meth-head in the family. How about finding out that a family member had been regularly conning money out of elderly grandparents living off of social security? The same family member/s that show up to family events either on a meth 'upper', or passed out cold in the middle of the living room floor? Lovely, huh? Tip of the iceberg. How about the stories of meth-heads getting behind the wheel and killing innocent people with their vehicles? Or the ones that expose their kids to their f*cking in-home meth lab? The place I grew up, that's not a "news story," that exists in your own family. If not in yours directly, then in a friends family. Have you seen "Crime Watch" signs in neighborhoods? Our town has "Meth Watch" signs gracing it as you drive in. There are few people in this world that I genuinely dislike. Even fewer that I can say that I loathe. There's a special place in hell for meth-heads. It destroys lives. It destroys families. It destroys towns.
pollymo14 13
Tl;dr meth is bad
PennyLane27 32
Other interpretation- maybe the dentist likes meth: "Hell of a drug!" ... in which case, I'm going to assume you're from my home town.... where our one, single dentist was a known meth/cocaine/alcoholic/etc. In that case- FYL!
pliskon_snake 14
"So you understand from personal experience" should have been your reply.
Ang3lofd3ath167 18
I don't get how people say FYL, you haven't been in yeArs, your teeth must be ****** up, YDI op
Johnnycake23 42
I'm Rick James bitch!
Cads1 24
Cheers for the life story!