Today, while at the bakery, I stood there trying to pick between black forest and dark chocolate. The salesman said kindly, "I've heard dark chocolate helps you lose weight. Yeah, you'd definitely want dark chocolate." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I ate a chocolate bar before getting my morning coffee. While waiting for it, a good looking guy started talking to me, then suddenly lost interest. Afterwards, I saw the chocolate on my face in my car mirror. FML
Today, I was online looking up ways to lose weight, get thinner and be healthier, all the while eating a slab of brownie that was half the size of my head. FML
Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML
Today, I ate 30 chocolate pocket brownies, two caramel chocolates, two Budweisers. All of that while on my breaks at work. I'm a guy and I'm worried about getting diabetes while i'm actually craving more chocolate and sugar treats, my body is getting weaker, I'm getting dumber, fatter, and slower as we speak. FML
Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML
Today, I got a text from an unknown number saying, "You shouldn't be eating that." I was eating a piece of chocolate, cheating on my diet. FML
Today, I took chocolax to help lose some weight before I left for Miami. Turns out it doesn't happen right away like in the movies, it happens six hours later in front of your girlfriends parents, that you've just met for the first time at a very upperclass restaurant. FML
Today, I went out to buy my wife some flowers and a chocolate bar that I overhead she liked the other day. On the way home, I was complimented on the bouquet I chose and feeling pretty good about myself. When I got home it turned out I got the wrong kind of flowers and the wrong percent of dark chocolate. FML
Today, my co-worker offered me sweets, then chocolate and then biscuits. Repeatedly. She knows I'm trying to diet for my wedding. She does this every day. FML
Today, I bought myself a Crumbl cookie as a treat for losing 20lbs. Upon seeing it, my mom screamed at me for cheating on my diet and how I was going to "gain all the weight back" and insisted she eat some of it to "help me out." She left behind a tiny morsel of the cookie with a chocolate chip chunk. FML
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Top comments
BananaMan844 4
Wow. That baker sounds like a huge douche. Sorry about that, OP.
blueblu97 16
That's so mean! I would report to their boss if I were you
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Comments (52)
BananaMan844 4
Wow. That baker sounds like a huge douche. Sorry about that, OP.
PoptartsKid 13
The joke behind this FML is that the baker was trying to hint the OP needs to lose weight
alice192823 24
11- yeah I think #1 realised that....
thevelociraptor 31
Noooo really?
ryanpreiss 17
Even if OP needed to lose weight, it is not the salesperson's job to tell OP that... so rude.
slyde32 12
thanks #11, I had to read this a few times to work it out, glad you cleared it up for me
Daniel589 7
#11 said that like no one knew..
blueblu97 16
That's so mean! I would report to their boss if I were you
TechFire 25
That wouldn't be a huge twist, honestly.
thefmlman2011 37
Damn, what a jerk, should of got his manager on him. Black Forest cake is sooo good.
Soviet_American 29
.
Jreslier 15
We've got a fatty on isle 4.
chlorinegreen 27
Says the person that won't even show themselves in their profile picture... Also your profile picture is someone holding a skittle. A weird looking faceless person.
feven 32
Well maybe they just don't want their face on the internet.
TheSwegMaster69 11
But how will anyone ever be able make hilarious memes if no one sacrifices their dignity?
slyde32 12
finally jreslier, you put a hint of thought in and didn't just comment "k"
bombielol 20
screw that sales man get whatever your little heart desires :)
ylime23456 18
Whoa that's extremely unprofessional. I hope you ended up taking your business elsewhere.
soccer8goalie 16
That was extremely rude of him. Hope you still got cake from a different store though OP :)
Soundslikeothers 15
He's not a very good salesman.
Brandi_Faith 34
I don't even understand his reasoning though. I'm pretty sure dark chocolate does not help anybody lose weight, or else the world would be stuffing themselves with it. It may be better for you than say milk chocolate or compared to other dessert's, as in the lesser of 2 evils, but losing weight? I don't think so. Sounds like he's a jerk and he's wrong!
PoisonOrchid 21
Dark chocolate is healthier than other desserts. I'm assuming that's what he was referring to, but yeah, sounds like a pretty terrible salesperson.
grene11061 6
**** that. Get the Black Forest and eat it obnoxiously in front of him. Pompous prick.
44345 9
did you ask him why?