Today, I ate 30 chocolate pocket brownies, two caramel chocolates, two Budweisers. All of that while on my breaks at work. I'm a guy and I'm worried about getting diabetes while i'm actually craving more chocolate and sugar treats, my body is getting weaker, I'm getting dumber, fatter, and slower as we speak. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was online looking up ways to lose weight, get thinner and be healthier, all the while eating a slab of brownie that was half the size of my head. FML
Today, hours before sleep, I'd thought I'd enjoy eating 4, yes 4, pieces of Millionaire's Shortbread. I now have a sugar rush, can't sleep, and I feel sick. FML
Today, I found ants all over my chocolate, but I'm so addicted that I just wiped them off and ate it anyway. FML
Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML
Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML
Today, I have been on the toilet all day due to chocolate laxatives from trick-or-treating. Today, it is my birthday. FML
Today, I ate a chocolate bar before getting my morning coffee. While waiting for it, a good looking guy started talking to me, then suddenly lost interest. Afterwards, I saw the chocolate on my face in my car mirror. FML
Today, I was working and eating. I was so tired that I bit into my pen and smeared my chocolate-filled pastry on my exercise book. FML
Today, I found out that I eat candy in my sleep. For two months I've been dieting because of my weight and high risk of diabetes. I now know why nothing has changed. FML
Today, after carefully keeping track of what I was eating and trying not to turn into a midnight snacker in order to lose weight, my sugar crashed at around 10:30pm. Before this I had two high protein bagels (at around 6:30pm) and a whole pint of fresh blueberries (at roughly 8pm) yet my sugar still crashed. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Anderling 33
This is where you need to seek professional help, either a GP or a psychiatrist.
ODBeefalo 10
look into protein/energy bars. they are meant to replace meals and keep you feeling full. should help short term for the snacking while you look into what is causing it in the first place.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (5)
RichardPencil 32
Sounds like you came to the right place. Here, being dumb, fat and slow is a feature, not a bug.
Anderling 33
This is where you need to seek professional help, either a GP or a psychiatrist.
ODBeefalo 10
look into protein/energy bars. they are meant to replace meals and keep you feeling full. should help short term for the snacking while you look into what is causing it in the first place.
andrewgr 4
This is going to come out of left field, and I don't think this is the most likely explanation, but it doesn't hurt to cover all of your bases. Some people (like myself) crave both caffeine and sugar because of how our adult ADHD expresses itself. If I forget to take my ADHD medicine in the morning, the fist time I notice is often after lunch when I find myself craving a candy bar and a coke. Particularly if you're craving sugar more at work than at home (because most of us get bored at work more than we do at home), you might at least mention the possibility of ADHD to your medical provider.
IHaveThePower 18
You need to get your A1C tested. It sounds like your blood sugar is dropping frequently for some reason.