Today, while at the bakery, I stood there trying to pick between black forest and dark chocolate. The salesman said kindly, "I've heard dark chocolate helps you lose weight. Yeah, you'd definitely want dark chocolate." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I ate a chocolate bar before getting my morning coffee. While waiting for it, a good looking guy started talking to me, then suddenly lost interest. Afterwards, I saw the chocolate on my face in my car mirror. FML
Today, I was online looking up ways to lose weight, get thinner and be healthier, all the while eating a slab of brownie that was half the size of my head. FML
Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML
Today, I ate 30 chocolate pocket brownies, two caramel chocolates, two Budweisers. All of that while on my breaks at work. I'm a guy and I'm worried about getting diabetes while i'm actually craving more chocolate and sugar treats, my body is getting weaker, I'm getting dumber, fatter, and slower as we speak. FML
Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML
Today, I got a text from an unknown number saying, "You shouldn't be eating that." I was eating a piece of chocolate, cheating on my diet. FML
Today, I took chocolax to help lose some weight before I left for Miami. Turns out it doesn't happen right away like in the movies, it happens six hours later in front of your girlfriends parents, that you've just met for the first time at a very upperclass restaurant. FML
Today, I went out to buy my wife some flowers and a chocolate bar that I overhead she liked the other day. On the way home, I was complimented on the bouquet I chose and feeling pretty good about myself. When I got home it turned out I got the wrong kind of flowers and the wrong percent of dark chocolate. FML
Today, my co-worker offered me sweets, then chocolate and then biscuits. Repeatedly. She knows I'm trying to diet for my wedding. She does this every day. FML
Today, I bought myself a Crumbl cookie as a treat for losing 20lbs. Upon seeing it, my mom screamed at me for cheating on my diet and how I was going to "gain all the weight back" and insisted she eat some of it to "help me out." She left behind a tiny morsel of the cookie with a chocolate chip chunk. FML
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Top comments
BananaMan844 4
Wow. That baker sounds like a huge douche. Sorry about that, OP.
blueblu97 16
That's so mean! I would report to their boss if I were you
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Comments (52)
Nyx7 24
That's when you tell him "on that note, go **** yourself, you just lost a customer"
syed121417 22
He hinted at a customer about losing weight, meanwhile he works in a bakery?
Shmnx 3
Yes, because the baked goods industry is ALL about helping people lose weight. Ignore that rude man and eat whatever you want, OP. Your body and your life.
KayleeFrye 39
Why the hell do so many people think that it's OK to comment on other people's lives, bodies, and habits? People need to start minding their own damn business. I hope you walked out and bought your chocolate elsewhere.