Today, I took chocolax to help lose some weight before I left for Miami. Turns out it doesn't happen right away like in the movies, it happens six hours later in front of your girlfriends parents, that you've just met for the first time at a very upperclass restaurant. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I ate a chocolate bar before getting my morning coffee. While waiting for it, a good looking guy started talking to me, then suddenly lost interest. Afterwards, I saw the chocolate on my face in my car mirror. FML
Today, I decided to go on a diet to lose some weight before summer. This was followed by the arrival of a giant parcel full of candy from my mother. FML
Today, 3 hours into a 7-hour flight, I only ate half the chocolate mousse that came with my meal and decided to give the rest to my boyfriend. While reaching for his tray, he mistook the action as me stealing his mousse. We spent the rest of the flight covered in sticky soft drink splatter. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I started our diet. After a long day of being held accountable for every calorie I ate, I went home to sneak a snack. My boyfriend came over to surprise me, and found me on the couch shoveling left-over Indian food into my mouth. FML
Today, my daughter expressed wanting to lose weight so I took her to a licensed dietician nutritionist to get her a healthy eating plan, and even made her an appointment with a personal trainer to get her on track. I walked in on her eating a whole box of laxatives, because "this way is faster." FML
Today, while at the bakery, I stood there trying to pick between black forest and dark chocolate. The salesman said kindly, "I've heard dark chocolate helps you lose weight. Yeah, you'd definitely want dark chocolate." FML
Today, a hot girl got into the elevator just as I took a bite out of my Three Musketeers bar. I instinctively smiled at her and chocolate drool poured out of my mouth. FML
Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML
Today, I told my parents that I was going on a diet to lose weight and I wanted their support. They brought home donuts and pizza for dinner. FML
Today, I came back from my 3-month vacation in France. During my vacation I lost 32 lbs and I was so excited to show off my new body to my boyfriend. When he walked in the door, he didn't notice me, but he did notice my younger, thinner and tanner sister strutting around in her bikini. FML
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Top comments
KennyP55 0
Wait, you thought ******** your brains out at any point before the 6 hour mark would help you lose weight? Enough to notice? Wow, FYL indeed, because you're an idiot.
hotstuff81 0
Why the **** would you do that, its called going to the gym or eating healthy instead.
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Comments (96)
ilikeboys 0
aww =[
hapylordofdeath9 0
maybe next time you should read the box
mygiraffe 1
agree
thatguy626 0
isn't that another form of bullemia?
PeteyPablo12308 20
Yes it is. Although taking laxatives ONE time and expecting to lose weight the very same day, shows a severe lack of intelligence. In fact he won't lose any weight at all. He did probably shit his pants though.
KennyP55 0
Wait, you thought ******** your brains out at any point before the 6 hour mark would help you lose weight? Enough to notice? Wow, FYL indeed, because you're an idiot.
Peroxide 3
bahahahahahaha kenny! kenny! kenny!
lolzforfun228 3
i notice that almost all of your comments are about the OP being an idiot. Maybe you feel the need to call others idiots because you're IQ is 34?
Taconuggets 0
Are you stalking the chap? By the way, well played Kenny. Well played.
Insert_Wit_Here 0
This seems exactly like it would happen in the movies... Well, if you're in a comedy anyway...
funny_story 4
Why would someone take laxatives in anything BUT a comedy? I've never seen a single action movie where the hero is crapping all over the place
mojomojo_fml 5
#9: You almost made me crap my pants from trying to stifle my laughter at work!
mechatron2300 0
AHA me too!
voodootrucker 0
man that would be awesome
coolster56 0
I did on south park
plethora 3
There's something wrong with you if it takes 6 hours for a laxative to work.
harro1337 0
There are some laxatives which take 8-10 hours like Senokot
crazy_cat_lady24 0
No, that's normal. He would have known that if he had just read the info that comes with the pills. What is it with people just randomly taking pills without reading what they do? It's stupid and reckless. OP, YDI for being a double idiot: once for thinking you could lose weight by taking a couple of laxatives, and once for not reading the supplied info. Laxatives are unhealthy and dangerous, you know.
Astroman129 7
It typically takes around an hour for mine to kick in when I have my colonoscopies. Then again, mine is in a liquid form, so it would take affect quicker.
hotstuff81 0
Why the **** would you do that, its called going to the gym or eating healthy instead.
pleasetryagain 0
Maybe you should read the box next time. It usually doesn't happen right away. Also- using laxatives in movies always ends hilariously. YDI.
Snuwishuhad 0
Hopefully you use that experience as a proof of why that was a very bad idea in the first place. Don't rinse and repeat.
lmmmr 0
Using laxatives to lose weight only works if you use about 5 a day for months on end. Doing so is less healthy than anorexia. You could not deserve it more. Go to the gym and put down the pizza.
prettytappr 0
wouldn't the instructions on the box or whatever tell you that it takes six hours? YDI for not reading the directions. eat a salad next time.
mojomojo_fml 5
YDI just for being stupid enough to think you'd be noticebly slimmer by dinner. Hope they had fun hosing you down.