Today, while at the bakery, I stood there trying to pick between black forest and dark chocolate. The salesman said kindly, "I've heard dark chocolate helps you lose weight. Yeah, you'd definitely want dark chocolate." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I ate a chocolate bar before getting my morning coffee. While waiting for it, a good looking guy started talking to me, then suddenly lost interest. Afterwards, I saw the chocolate on my face in my car mirror. FML
Today, I was online looking up ways to lose weight, get thinner and be healthier, all the while eating a slab of brownie that was half the size of my head. FML
Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML
Today, I ate 30 chocolate pocket brownies, two caramel chocolates, two Budweisers. All of that while on my breaks at work. I'm a guy and I'm worried about getting diabetes while i'm actually craving more chocolate and sugar treats, my body is getting weaker, I'm getting dumber, fatter, and slower as we speak. FML
Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML
Today, I got a text from an unknown number saying, "You shouldn't be eating that." I was eating a piece of chocolate, cheating on my diet. FML
Today, I took chocolax to help lose some weight before I left for Miami. Turns out it doesn't happen right away like in the movies, it happens six hours later in front of your girlfriends parents, that you've just met for the first time at a very upperclass restaurant. FML
Today, I went out to buy my wife some flowers and a chocolate bar that I overhead she liked the other day. On the way home, I was complimented on the bouquet I chose and feeling pretty good about myself. When I got home it turned out I got the wrong kind of flowers and the wrong percent of dark chocolate. FML
Today, my co-worker offered me sweets, then chocolate and then biscuits. Repeatedly. She knows I'm trying to diet for my wedding. She does this every day. FML
Today, I bought myself a Crumbl cookie as a treat for losing 20lbs. Upon seeing it, my mom screamed at me for cheating on my diet and how I was going to "gain all the weight back" and insisted she eat some of it to "help me out." She left behind a tiny morsel of the cookie with a chocolate chip chunk. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
BananaMan844 4
Wow. That baker sounds like a huge douche. Sorry about that, OP.
blueblu97 16
That's so mean! I would report to their boss if I were you
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (52)
Jared900DUmpling 30
Black Forest cake is AMAZING. Get it. Btw it's also the cake mentioned in portal.
RedPillSucks 33
Tell him that black forest improves intellect, but no matter how much he eats, it wont help him.
meegal 12
I mean this in the most respectful way it can be... but you know what would stop comments like that? If you actually did in fact lose some weight. If you actually are a bit overweight that is and the guy isn't just being a jerk. There really is no downside to being more healthy. Only good comes from exercise and eating right! You'll feel and look better if you and anyone else reading this comment would start taking better care of their bodies. It'll also help your love life ;)
slyde32 12
OR....how about people just stop being judgemental and making comments like these, being a bit overweight doesn't necessarily mean you're unhealthy. Even if they are unhealthy, it's their life, and their body, they can treat it as they like
meegal 12
I'm just trying to help people improve themselves. I'm sorry if this offended anyone, I can see by the thumbs down I got that it did. I was not trying to be insulting, I was trying to just inform people that living a healthier life will make them happier. You'll look and feel better. You wont lose 100 freaking pounds by eating right and exercising, but you will be better off. It was just a suggestion, I did not mean any judgement. I'm sorry.
martin8337 36
People that tell me that I am fat, I simply reply that they are ugly and I can diet.
TheCrispyCat 20
Dark chocolate is the best.
trendkilla254 4
The cake salesman is a lie.
DoubleDosexo 12
I would've gone with black forest. It's much better...
KittehFreak 25
I'm sure he didn't mean it that way, but that was pretty rude. FYL.
noah_1234 24
sorry
DarkStorm2Bad 14
I'd have reported the smeghead on the spot; your weight is nobody's business but your own.