Today, my mom visited. While she was using the bathroom, my man-child of a husband thought it would be funny to knock on the bathroom door with his penis, thinking it was me in there. She opened the door to find him standing there doing the "helicopter". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while we had my husband's boss over, my 3-year-old son decided to burst into the living room naked and yell, "Mum, look! Penis!" and wiggle it around. FML
Today, my husband decided it's completely fine to walk around the house with his penis out in front of his mom. FML
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
Today, I was masturbating in my bedroom, when suddenly, my mom opened the door and walked in with guests. I didn't react quick enough. FML
Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML
Today, I needed to ask my mom for something, so I went to her room without knocking and walked in on her and her boyfriend fucking. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML
Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, dropped a condom on the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!" FML
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Top comments
anniemeece 23
Hey, it could be worse. He could have done that hoping your mother was inside!
DocBastard 40
Did she have a stroke? Or did she refuse to touch it?
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Comments (134)
Gingerette 8
Helicopter dick, gelicopter dick! I really want to listen to Lonely Island, now.
miserly_neutral 4
to impress a chick do the helicopter dick
Gingerette 8
Everyone who's anyone loves the helicopter.
Rainhawk94 27
No no no no no
Gittoh 21
your husband sounds like a party!
H4IL2TH3V 8
HaHa! I wonder how fast his "flotation device" deflated when he seen it wasn't his wife. -- I bet mom was ready for take off! Straight back to her own home. This makes me giggle... honestly I think its cute that he feels comfortable enough with his wife to act silly and spontaneous.
honeymoonroyale 20
LOL I don't remember literally out loud after reading an FML. Sorry OP :(
kennaem1 11
To impress a chick, helicopter dick
RedPillSucks 33
No one's impressed with a floppy dick.
amypr 20
Speak for yourself, 73. Some of us find flaccid, rotating dicks very erotic! ;)
RedPillSucks 33
Well, when you say it like that, it sounds so damn sexy!
kennaem1 11
It's actually a song haha
cookie1207 19
We need to know what happened next!
Nacker323 4
a real life meat spin.