Today, my mom visited. While she was using the bathroom, my man-child of a husband thought it would be funny to knock on the bathroom door with his penis, thinking it was me in there. She opened the door to find him standing there doing the "helicopter". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while we had my husband's boss over, my 3-year-old son decided to burst into the living room naked and yell, "Mum, look! Penis!" and wiggle it around. FML
Today, my husband decided it's completely fine to walk around the house with his penis out in front of his mom. FML
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
Today, I was masturbating in my bedroom, when suddenly, my mom opened the door and walked in with guests. I didn't react quick enough. FML
Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML
Today, I needed to ask my mom for something, so I went to her room without knocking and walked in on her and her boyfriend fucking. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML
Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, dropped a condom on the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!" FML
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Top comments
anniemeece 23
Hey, it could be worse. He could have done that hoping your mother was inside!
DocBastard 40
Did she have a stroke? Or did she refuse to touch it?
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Comments (134)
SAgirl 23
Would love to have seen the look on his face.
Mynamewontfi 40
I would've loved to see both of their faces when the door opened. But yeah, things will be a little more awkward from now on.
ShyAnn29 15
Hopefully he learned to NEVER assume anything!
jakeysmom 12
Now he knows why assume means making an ass out of u and me.
LennyComa 39
At that point there is nothing that can save that situation. Everyone will laugh about it in a few weeks time
Golden_Rydes 3
It's still going to be hard to get over.
WaterBui 9
He probably didn't knock with his penis. That would hurt.
kozzard 17
whole new meaning to "school of hard knocks"...
adamo_erebus 26
Apparently his dick thickened too
Sophie_Hart 9
Thats hot ;)
Gingerette 8
Go away, Paris.
MiahDivine 7
creepy...
perdix 31
What's really impressive is that he went from being hard enough to knock on the door to limp enough to do an entertaining "helicopter" is a few seconds. Going limp on command is not a skill most guys bother to master. Seems kinda pointless.
jakeysmom 12
Hearing "Coming, dear" from his mother in law probably provided the necessary help.
Americanus 7
I would love to master that. No more random boners I'm public? Sign me up.
perdix 31
#64, I know! I could have used that skill in high school when my hot algebra teacher called on me to work a problem on the board. Those boners were anything but random!
RedPillSucks 33
Random boners are the spice of life... Or at least the stirrers of life.
perdix 31
#72, I don't believe in "the random boner." Mine always have a purpose.
Emiler98 11
Wow at least your mom might have a good sense of humor
DCvRkey2012 7
You love the helicopter?