Today, I discovered that if you heckle a mime, it's possible that the mime will actually kick your ass. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML
Today, I learned that if you make fun of a man for walking with a cane, you'd better be ready for him to hit you with it. FML
Today, I learned that kicking an armed mugger's ass is something that only happens in movies, and that brass knuckles are really fucking painful. FML
Today, I tried to see if you can kick yourself in the nuts. You can. FML
Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML
Today, at the movies, some asswipe kept throwing candy at me. After 20 minutes of it, I got up and went over to get him to stop. Good news: his balls vanished faster than a politician's spine immediately after being elected. Bad news: I got kicked out for "starting a disturbance". FML
Today, I was helping a 7 year-old student in my martial arts class with his kicks. My reward? A surprisingly powerful kick to the testicles. FML
Today, I was kicked out of a comedy club for laughing too loudly. FML
Today, I learned how to wolf-whistle properly, and then learned what it feels like to be slapped on the head. FML
Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML
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Top comments
junkman6 22
If I could, I would high five that mime.
countryb_cth 38
And what did we learn here today? Hmmm.. Oh that's right, don't be an asshole
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Comments (71)
junkman6 22
If I could, I would high five that mime.
sayyestothedress 24
Same here! I would give the mime some money
sdroze1389 31
I wonder if he did it silently lol
kickass1954 14
Ouch
xoreggie 9
Literally "ouch"
Sandsh8rk 36
Wow, your comment is pure genius. Must have taken you a while to think of that.
cadillacgal79 32
It shows such literary art...we must take notes from this man.
itsxok 5
Actions do speak louder than words
amrose1318 10
Or rather hurt more than words in this case. lol.
countryb_cth 38
And what did we learn here today? Hmmm.. Oh that's right, don't be an asshole
Tika876 18
I find the phrase "Talk shit, get hit!" helps as a good reminder.
JMichael 26
Funny thing is the mime himself never actually touched OP.
Ichiya 29
But that invisible piano caused 2 accidents and a small house fire after it landed on op.
wubo058 3
You deserved it.
Soundslikeothers 15
What? Did you really think he was trapped in that box and couldn't get out in time to beat your ass?
Geeve95 11
YDI for being an idiot. What reasoning did you have for heckling a mime. A person who doesn't say sh!t. Good for that mime. Serves you right! I would've also kicked your ass. Just goes to show you when you talk shit you better also back it up cause if you don't your gonna get your ass kicked like OP's dumbass.
DocDrose 20
don't heckle, full stop. its rude.
laden_swallow09 35
Full stops are what we Americans call periods. FYI. I don't understand why 9 is being downvoted.
cjwayy 22
YDI for being an ass.
MSCCG 16
Yeah, mimes are not paralysed they are mute