Today, I discovered that if you heckle a mime, it's possible that the mime will actually kick your ass. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML
Today, I learned that if you make fun of a man for walking with a cane, you'd better be ready for him to hit you with it. FML
Today, I learned that kicking an armed mugger's ass is something that only happens in movies, and that brass knuckles are really fucking painful. FML
Today, I tried to see if you can kick yourself in the nuts. You can. FML
Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML
Today, at the movies, some asswipe kept throwing candy at me. After 20 minutes of it, I got up and went over to get him to stop. Good news: his balls vanished faster than a politician's spine immediately after being elected. Bad news: I got kicked out for "starting a disturbance". FML
Today, I was helping a 7 year-old student in my martial arts class with his kicks. My reward? A surprisingly powerful kick to the testicles. FML
Today, I was kicked out of a comedy club for laughing too loudly. FML
Today, I learned how to wolf-whistle properly, and then learned what it feels like to be slapped on the head. FML
Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML
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Top comments
junkman6 22
If I could, I would high five that mime.
countryb_cth 38
And what did we learn here today? Hmmm.. Oh that's right, don't be an asshole
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Comments (71)
Axel5238 29
Walk softly and cary a big stick comes to mind. Actions have consequences, you weren't dumb enough to throw bread at people making duck faces in clubs were you?
Kittyphysics 21
No no. Throwing bread at duck faces is a public service. That stupid shit needs need s to STAHP.
sdroze1389 31
I wonder how the mime would acted out carrying a big stick
Norja 33
Wish I was there, I would have pulled up a chair and some popcorn and enjoyed watching you get exactly what you deserved. YDI
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
Mimes have feelings too.
blackonblight 33
I see, you are of the Lord Vetinari school with regards to mimes. (It was said that he would tolerate absolutely anything apart from anything that threatened the city* And mime artists. It was a strange aversion, but there you are. Anyone in baggy trousers and a white face who tried to ply their art anywhere within Ankh’s crumbling walls would very quickly find themselves in a scorpion pit, on one wall of which was painted the advice: Learn The Words.) Can't blame you. But if you aren't Lord Vetinari, you can't really expect to pull that sort of thing off.
c0untblah 4
Hahaha.... You got beat up pretty bad huh? Later on dis he mime your ass-whooping?
devildog562 33
Next time you'll know to mimed your own business.
RBW_Slave 9
Did he at least do it quietly?
worldclassrager 41
they have their invisible things and their no word acting but they are not mimes forever
organizse 28
'heckle'
MzZombicidal 36
'Jekyll'
BradTheBrony 19
'Shrekle'
vikky538 29
your profile pic will become the illustrated FML for this week for this FML