Today, my 33-year-old brother told my 10-year-old daughter that clouds are made by factories blowing smoke. My daughter laughed at him and he got upset. He still believed my dad's lie from 25 years ago. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 24-year-old brother tried to convince me that Hogwarts is real, because there is no way a person could have written that based on imagination. My parents agreed with him. FML
Today, I finally confronted my daughter about never using air freshener after she poops. She said, "But I thought flushing made the smell go away!" She's 15 and she actually believed this. FML
Today, my brother told my 3 year-old son that cool kids call their parents by their real names. This wouldn't be half as bad if he hadn't also convinced my son that my real name was Satan. FML
Today, my mom grounded me for smoking cigarettes. I'm 13. I don't smoke. She said she smelled it on my clothes. I laughed and said I was in the basement, and used one of my dad's cig's to simulate a house on fire on my train layout. She didn't believe me. Honestly, I wouldn't believe that story either. FML
Today, I finally told my brother that I was being sexually harassed at work. I'm 22 and my brother is 41, and he literally told me that I don't even know what sexual harassment is, and then laughed in my face. FML
Today, my 17 year-old brother asked me if I used birth control. When I told him I did, he responded, "Isn't that like using an inhalor when you don't have asthma?" FML
Today, at work, a little girl was misbehaving. Her dad told her that she would look like me when she grows up. The little girl look horrified while Daddy laughed and kept reassuring her he was "just kidding." FML
Today, I had to convince my dad that text lingo causes brain damage just to try to get him to stop. He actually believed me, and is telling everyone they have, or will receive brain damage soon. FML
Today, I reprimanded my daughter for eating too many chips, since it's not good for you. She responded with, "Know what else isn't good for you? Two cigarettes a day." I couldn't even come up with a retort. I can't believe I just got burned by a ten-year-old. FML
Today, I confronted my dad about his horrible attitude toward women. I pointed out that a man with as many sisters and daughters as he has, shouldn’t refer to women who’ve had children as “damaged goods”. He laughed and said, “Ah well, once it’s been blown out, it’s no good to anyone.” Thanks dad. FML
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Top comments
WCARlover 35
What kind of person would think that clouds are smoke?! They're clearly little bits of unflavored cotton candy.
mcruff 12
I definitely knew what made clouds by the time i was 8...
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Comments (20)
xcllla_ 27
Guys don't lie to your kids when they are curious about things in the world.
mackdeezy 22
Thats nothing. I once saw this documentary on Volcanoes that said that without them, there would be no clouds. No clue who the bigger idiot was, the guy who presented that iff as fact, or the guy who ok'd that to be included as part of the documentary.
howdmynosego 12
You know he may have been trying to be funny, and may have just pretended to be upset to make her feel smarter
rivenrock 14
How sad that all these years he's been seeing lovely clouds as pollution. But does this mean he thought pollution caused rain?
trycksh0t 7
Well, technically, there is SOME truth in that statement. Clouds cannot form without aerosols for the water (or ice crystals) to condense around, and factories release an awful lot of aerosols into the atmosphere. Although if he legitimately believed that clouds were nothing more than factory smoke.... he is an idiot.
snoopyace 0
Wait wait wait... so they are not?
Atmey 5
I loved the song.