Today, I had to convince my dad that text lingo causes brain damage just to try to get him to stop. He actually believed me, and is telling everyone they have, or will receive brain damage soon. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I received a text from my dad, which was borderline-incomprehensible due to an insane amount of text language. I replied, jokingly asked if he had a stroke while writing it. A few seconds after hitting send, I remembered the stroke he suffered last month. FML
Today, my dad took a call while driving. He always yells and curses at people who talk on their cell while driving. I asked him to get off the phone because it's dangerous, and told him he's being a hypocrite. He shook his head at me and continued talking. Seconds later, we got into an accident. FML
Today, my dad took my phone away because I "had to be texting while driving in order to wreck my car." I was too ashamed to tell him that a huge bug flew into my face causing me to veer off the road and into a brick mailbox. FML
Today, I have a horribly painful throat infection and can't talk. In spite of this, Dad keeps insisting I call people for him, meaning I have to make use of a text to speech program. Eight out of twelve people I've called on his behalf have hung up, thinking I'm a scambot. Dad is blaming me for it. FML
Today, my dad forced the whole family to sit through a two-hour lecture, with supporting research, on how the "Mayan prophecy" is actually a load of shit fabricated by conmen. Nice to know he thinks we're all borderline brain-dead, gullible fuckwits who believed it to begin with. Thanks, dad. FML
Today, my dad demonstrated just how incredibly illiterate he is. He sent me a chain email about the awful lives of people with "Asparagus syndrome". FML
Today, my dad has been hitting the bottle, and will only respond to anything I say in a slurred rap. FML
Today, I wrecked my car because my mom texted me, telling me not to text and drive. FML
Today, I have brain damage, no two ways about it, because I had mumps as a child that caused my brain to swell. I just found out I only got mumps because my dad lied to my mom about getting me vaccinated, because he was too cheap to pay for it. FML
Today, my 61 year-old father snatched a letter from my hands and threw four different fits because he misread it four different times, then yelled at me for "not reading it properly." I had to explain it to him. FML
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Top comments
HowieDoIt 21
He must have hit his head when he rofl'd
perdix 31
OMG, I LOL'd and then I had to STFU and CTFD. I guess YOLO and mine is almost over. S2BM (sucks to be me, just made that 1 up :) )
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Comments (70)
HowieDoIt 21
He must have hit his head when he rofl'd
mohamm11 4
Hard
lolfood 24
Omg rofl
killmoose 5
Hey hey hey, no need for being mean, or I'll do some good and give a bad hit to your ugly face, Clint Eastwood
botanistjessica 24
He must already have gotten it.
BlakesHonestLie 8
Well it IS arguable that texting and the Internet have caused the downward spiral of the English language. So op does have a point, just in a different way than intended.
cptmorgan6 8
I hope, for your sake, the apple fell far from the tree.
kalepie 6
I ate the apple. It was good.
Darkmagic666 9
Cannibalism at its finest, 55
perdix 31
OMG, I LOL'd and then I had to STFU and CTFD. I guess YOLO and mine is almost over. S2BM (sucks to be me, just made that 1 up :) )
flockz 20
Cue The Fedora Douches?
ICastillo 25
Damn Predix you gave me brain damage with that comment. Your goinkogxbihscnkf. Kc jhcvjmcdx n
HowieDoIt 21
10, you may want to get a second opinion on that.
daniel_dd31 13
10 - u made yourself look like an idiot
perdix 31
#26, wouldn't that be "urself," if we are going for complete consistency ;) ? I <3 emoticons! They often can make it clear when someone is joking or otherwise clarify the writer's intention more than plain text ever could.
ICastillo 25
Bgrukncsdd(6,$$'fdcchdxb Fihhsejzegvlpi)7,:
marxistbkly 3
OMG 1337 sp33k iz de p4wnzers
asnakelovinbabe 16
KCAFS. It means keep calm and feed snakes. It's my life story. In five letters.
ICastillo 25
I came to a conclusion #58 I'm not sure how I figured it out, but you love snakes huh?
thelastavailable 13
I straight up read that as 'sucks to be me'. I need to get off my phone.
geocayce 7
I hope his gullibility, for lack of a harsher word, isn't hereditary.
greenie213 23
Maybe you were right...
RealTalk0 7
That's why you don't mess with gullible people..sometimes it doesn't turn out the way you planned..
xNephilim 19
I still tell some people that the original Power Rangers were all girls except for the pink one and that he was gay. It's quite amusing.
seansbro56 10
Well atleast he stopped
erockinthesuburb 17
I really wish that this was the truth. With some people you need a decoder ring out of a Cracker Jack box to decipher what they're trying to say.
old09 11
Have you tried dangling something shiny in front of him to see if it des tracts him?