Today, I finally confronted my daughter about never using air freshener after she poops. She said, "But I thought flushing made the smell go away!" She's 15 and she actually believed this. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML
Today, for the millionth time, I walked into a complete smellhole of a bathroom, because my almost ten-year-old sister not only never flushes, but she doesn't wipe either. FML
Today, the 4 year-old I was babysitting came up to me all happy, saying she went to the bathroom like a "big girl." Knowing she was just potty trained, I asked if she'd remembered to flush. Looking at me confused, she said, "But it's in my room." FML
Today, I finally found where the awful lingering stench in my house was coming from. My son thought it would be funny to piss in the baby's humidifier. He's 16. FML
Today, at the supermarket, I picked up a pack of toilet rolls, at which point my 5-year-old daughter turned to me and screamed, "A CLEAN BUTTHOLE IS A HAPPY BUTTHOLE!" in front of a dozen other people. I have no idea where she heard that. FML
Today, my daughter was putting clothes in the drier when she yelled, "Mom!! The drier won't start!" I had to explain to her that the door needed to be shut. Her response, "Oh. I didn't know that mattered." She's 15. FML
Today, my idiot daughter has allowed mold to grow in her shower. Her excuse? She thought it was just some “stains” that wouldn’t come out. Yeah, I don’t believe that. I think she knew it was mold and just didn’t care. FML
Today, as a nurse, I had to tell a 15 year-old girl that her red, sore asscrack was caused by consistently not wiping her ass properly. Seriously, when I examined her there was still poop, even though she swore she wiped this morning. I had to teach her how to do it properly, at 15 years-old. FML
Today, when I went to pick up my daughter from preschool, I found out she'd "accidentally" tried to flush her clothes down the toilet while going to the bathroom. FML
Today, I kept getting out of bed because I was sure my daughter had pooped in her diaper. Every time, I found nothing. I finally figured out the foul smell was my husband's breath, when he leaned into kiss me goodnight. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
AmbrosiaFan 19
The world will not end if she doesn't use air freshener...
Callyn 47
Way to waste air freshener? It's a bathroom, it's never going to smell like roses but unless there is something wrong with you it shouldn't be a burden.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (15)
AmbrosiaFan 19
The world will not end if she doesn't use air freshener...
definte 8
I just light a match, it works way better.
Henry8cooper 15
Personally I prefer the pure stink of shit for the disgusting stink of air freshener mixed with the stink of shit - but each to his own
Callyn 47
Way to waste air freshener? It's a bathroom, it's never going to smell like roses but unless there is something wrong with you it shouldn't be a burden.
timinator5000 28
waste it?? when else are you supposed to use it??
Yudith 28
Gym locker rooms and fitness centers.
friendly_pixeh 7
Wait, what? Girls poop?
404wan 19
What are you talking about "confronting her"? No normal person sprays air freshener after every time they use the bathroom, just open a window or, if you dont have one, leave the door open and get one of those rubbery air freshener blocks in the plastic box. If you live in a house with multiple people and everyone sprays like you... You'd need all Windows open at all times anyways just so you can breathe.
evilplatypus 39
That’s actually part of the reason there’s an s-bend in the pipe. Flushing DOES eliminate most of the smell. Also, I’d 100x prefer the smell of fart stink to fart stink poorly covered up with artificial flowery chemical smell.
Mathalamus 25
Flushing does get rid of the stink. Also, most bathrooms have a fa to suck up the stink.
Mightytall 35
Girl poops are the worst too. But to be honest, air fresheners only make it smell like poop and flowers or whatever. Best and most effective way to get the smell is to light a match.
ViviMage 40
Just have her spritz that poo-pouri stuff into the bowl. You can even make a DIY one