Today, our landlord came over to chop down our cherished apple tree. While doing so, he ate one of the apples, concurring that they really did taste excellent. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my landlord sent tree cutters to take down a tree in our front yard. I didn't realize their job included walking around the house and gratuitously staring at me through the window as I dressed. My boyfriend won't complain because he's afraid our rent will go up in retaliation. FML
Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML
Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML
Today, due to me not looking, I accidentally bit an apple made of styrofoam that was meant to be a part of a display on the kitchen table. My roommates were there and me not wanting to embarrass myself by putting it back, I walked out, apple in hand, to throw it away elsewhere. FML
Today, I ate an apple. My sister then walks in dressed as a witch, and asks, "Have you seen my poisoned apple?" She was playing at Snow White, and the apple had been dipped in the toilet, the cat's food bowl and the garbage can. FML
Today, I was invited over by my girlfriend's parents, but I couldn't bring myself to take part in their discussions. During a lull in conversation, I noticed everyone was staring at me. Covering myself while I tried to think of something to say, I grabbed an apple and took a bite. It was plastic. FML
Today, my boss sent me to remove a tree from a client's home. So I went and cut down the tree, only for my boss to show up an hour later, speechless. I was supposed to remove a sapling that had sprouted through the driveway tarmac, not the 100-year-old prizewinning Japanese cherry tree. FML
Today, I watched one of my neighbor's trees fall into the electrical lines outside my house. This was after he took a chainsaw to the tree. He refuses to cover the damages. FML
Today, my husband finally got round to cutting down a tree limb in our front yard after months of me begging him. It fell on me. FML
Today, my math teacher raged at a student for eating an apple in class. As he yelled at the student, he slapped the apple out of his hand and right into my face. Everyone laughed, including the teacher. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
He cannot tell a lie. Wait, if he's your landlord, how can the tree be yours? Didn't he really chop down his own tree?
BurnInDemonFire 39
Did you plant it without his permission? Did you plant it in a place where it could be dangerous if it fell? Was it in poor health and needed to be removed before whatever disease it had spread? There's a little more to your story that we need to be told.
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Comments (6)
RichardPencil 32
He cannot tell a lie. Wait, if he's your landlord, how can the tree be yours? Didn't he really chop down his own tree?
Yudith 28
We had a mulberry tree down our street that gave delicious mulberries up until the landlord had it cut. Turns out, its trunk was hollowed out. Maybe your beloved apple tree had the tree equivalent of terminal cancer, and your landlord shortened its suffering.
RichardPencil 32
Yeah but the monkey chasing the weasel was too much of nuisance. And all those calls to Animal Control to clean up popped weasels!
BurnInDemonFire 39
Did you plant it without his permission? Did you plant it in a place where it could be dangerous if it fell? Was it in poor health and needed to be removed before whatever disease it had spread? There's a little more to your story that we need to be told.
RawrXD 4
George Washington is back in town?
Studious_Gluteus 20
Land scalpers are scum.
cpguru24 18
"Today, our landlord came over to chop down one of his trees on his property. Because, you know, its his property" There I fixed it for you.