Today, my brother told my 3 year-old son that cool kids call their parents by their real names. This wouldn't be half as bad if he hadn't also convinced my son that my real name was Satan. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I let my brother babysit my 6-year-old daughter. She learned 2 new words from him. One of them was "Hail" and the other one was "Satan". FML
Today, I went to pick up my little brother from his friend's house. When I got there, he ran off screaming that he didn't know me. His friend's parents believed him. FML
Today, I realized that the only boy who ever called me pretty was my 5-year-old brother. My sister then scolded him for lying. FML
Today, I found out that my 6-year-old son was named after my wife's "Favorite Uncle" because he might also be the father. FML
Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML
Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML
Today, I found out that my parents think my boyfriend is the devil. FML
Today, my 6-year-old brother showed me the "books" he's been writing for the past week. My parents, who are first-generation immigrants, want him to take the books to school to show everyone. My only problem with this? The main character's name is "Wanker". FML
Today, during a family dinner, my 5-year-old son excitedly told everyone that I let him use my "douche" last week. My parents glared at me in anger and horror, and only after they left did I find out that his brother had told him that's what my loofah is called. FML
Today, I pretended like I was dead to my 4 year-old brother. He cried my name for a couple of seconds, then took my iPhone out of my hands and ran away laughing. FML
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Top comments
DestinyNiya 33
Hey, Satan! :D Good to know you exist!
brookenicolee29 27
That's when you call him Satan's Spawn
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Comments (40)
DestinyNiya 33
Hey, Satan! :D Good to know you exist!
DoomTetra 6
Only in japan
cailey1234567890 24
There was doubt?
cjwayy 22
What does this have to do with Japan?
False_Stupidity 42
Well #43, the OP (aka Satan) is from Japan.
tonyfan00 38
Really? REALLY? That's just being an @$$hole right there, Comment 1.
Martnikk 15
In Japan it's considered intimate to adress someone by their first names
worldclassrager 41
I think just sticking with dad would be better... I can hear it now my dad's name is Satan
thevelociraptor 31
Or mom, there is no gender icon.
SMHsohard 22
Unless he was dyslexic, then it would be Santa
DogeMan 14
Just tell him what ur real name is and that's solves everthing!
almightyteapot 8
It's actually your - ur doesn't mean anything. Well, it probably does in some real or made up language, but not in English. Also, that* solves everything, thats's doesn't solve anything. But I'll forgive you because you like turtles. Turtles are awesome.
IHaveThePower 18
I don't think Latin-based grammar rules are meant to apply to text slang that derived from an era where you got charged by the letter.
almightyteapot 8
Oh, how did I miss everthing? It's everything, sweetie :) Don't worry, you'll get there someday!
cryssycakesx3 23
chill out. he shortened a word and made a few typos. nobody cares, it really isn't a big deal.
DropTheDaggerxx 31
Correcting spelling every once in a while is fine... nitpicking shortened words (that are widely used & accepted online) while being condescending to boot is not fine, 32.
Oyas12 14
You know, as long as it doesn't take someone 2 minutes to read 1 sentence, it's perfectly fine. If I made a mistake, that just proves my point :).
Kordellf 8
That sounds like one hell of a household!
Silently1479 5
Black Butler reference maybe?
brookenicolee29 27
That's when you call him Satan's Spawn
mkstar13 13
Just tell him your real name
silvercamaro 22
OP's son seems gullible enough for this issue to be resolved quickly, I agree #6
jackel_love 14
agreed
ahippienamedrae 10
If it's Stan, it'll be close.
ChristianH39 30
On the bright side, OPs brother is the coolest uncle ever
hereicomment 18
You must have a hell of a son!
PoisonOrchid 21
One hell of a brother, also!
Nyx7 24
But no hell of a butler, so sad
saraitkddh 47
catch this in a video, this is going to be a funny story later in the future
IAmJad 18
I would've beat my brother's ass.
Godsofdracos 15
Seriously? Little over the top don't you think?
steveykinz0967 16
Did he convince him that your wife was hitler?