Today, my ex, whom I haven't seen in two years, contacted me. She was great company back in the day, wild in bed, the most attractive person I've ever dated, and totally uninterested in a serious relationship. She wants me to fix her computer. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I received an email from an ex who I haven't heard from in two years. Excited that it might be her asking if we could meet up, I opened it. It was a virus. FML
Today, someone I used to know got in touch with me, after I hadn't heard from him in years. He insisted that we met up as soon as possible, and wanted me to go to his house that afternoon. I spent the afternoon repairing his computer. Since then, no news. FML
Today, I got a call from a girl I fell madly in love with 8 years ago. She disappeared from my life with no trace. Turns out she just finalized her divorce, has 2 wild kids, packed on 75 lbs, has $25,000 in debt and is taking meds to keep from going crazy. Now she wants me back. FML
Today, I got a call from my ex asking if I could fix her computer. I brought my 7 year old son with me. On the way I told him, how I hated her, but I can't be rude. Once we get there, I say to her "it's nice to see you." My son says "but I thought you said you want her to fall off a bridge?" FML
Today, my mom called me and asked me to fix her computer, three days after saying she never wanted to see me again for dating a boy. I got lectured to on how I'm ruining my life the whole time. FML
Today, my ex, who has been asking me to get back with her, told me that she doesn't want to be in a relationship with me when I asked. FML
Today, my ex, who I'm still in love with, emailed me. I thought she changed her mind about us, so I poured my heart out to her. She just wanted to let me know she has chlamydia, and advise me to go to the clinic. FML
Today, I was in an online chatroom speaking to this girl that I really hit it off with. She then confided in me that she'd recently been dumped by her boyfriend and that he was a jerk. A little while later, we exchanged photos. It was my ex. FML
Today, my ex called me up to suggest that we become friends, only so that she could introduce me to her new boyfriend. FML
Today, I talked to my ex on AIM after not speaking to her since we broke up two years ago. The conversation lead up to her asking how I feel about her. So I poured my heart and soul out to her, because I still love her. She immediately logged off. FML
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Top comments
almostkilledme 0
You should have told her that you would take sex as payment.
Wheredidgrungego 12
Hmm, sounds like how 95% of pornos start.
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Comments (109)
Brooding99 15
My ex recently did the same thing to me, similar with the relation and sex factors too. I took the high road and didn't try to get back into bed with her though like a lot of these folks are suggesting... Its was the couch, then the kitchen, then the porch (we needed a smoke), and then the floor...
prinzess_fml 25
Makes me want to call my computer-guy ex, to see him and his big... hands again... @#%*+ now I will be thinking of it all day long
scottgeo 0
I wish my ex would be like that. i would be there in a second.
52564 8
Yeah baby that's what we are talking about. Same story here and it's even better the second time around. Damn I miss those great ****!
salvorican 24
By fix her computer she probably actually means.. ;) Her computer has malfunctioned. Like her heart
upyourzlolz 11
It didn't come out as witty as you planned.
Snookie85 19
And I hope you told her where to go? Lol
stepanek911 1
dude I know exactly what you mean. my last ex is the same way. FOL
2wenty0ne21 0
Perfect. Rig it to where she keeps calling u. Or just destroy it beyond repair
eff5 0
Tell her no
uprising_fml 0
yeah, she called YOU of all people. not the repair man, not a brother, you. she probably was thinking about you but didn't know how to approach talking to you again after two years . opportunities OP, opportunities.
52564 8
Yeah like you don't see opportunity here. Shit I say only part fix it, keep her coming back. Then if no special payment, nuke it on her, I'm such a pig
imsoboss91 5
Fix it and she'll have a suprise for you ;D
upyourzlolz 11
A slice of cake?!
upyourzlolz 11
Cake!?
a_nutritionist 10
so your ex asked for your help and because she didnt follow the sentence up with 'and **** me senseless' you think you deserve sympathy? Heres what you deserve...YDI
bubidood 0
There is a time and place for the word 'no'. This is that time and place.