Today, I got a call from my ex asking if I could fix her computer. I brought my 7 year old son with me. On the way I told him, how I hated her, but I can't be rude. Once we get there, I say to her "it's nice to see you." My son says "but I thought you said you want her to fall off a bridge?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom called me and asked me to fix her computer, three days after saying she never wanted to see me again for dating a boy. I got lectured to on how I'm ruining my life the whole time. FML
Today, my mom has been calling me every ten minutes, asking me questions about her new computer. She called me at work, and I rudely answered her question. She called back, talked to my boss, saying she was a customer that called in, and I was rude to her. FML
Today, my ex, whom I haven't seen in two years, contacted me. She was great company back in the day, wild in bed, the most attractive person I've ever dated, and totally uninterested in a serious relationship. She wants me to fix her computer. FML
Today, my son asked for my help with a personal matter. I was flattered that he trusted me, since he's a paranoid, untrusting psycho. Turned out he wanted to use my locksmith skills to break into his ex's house and "teach her a lesson" for breaking up with him after he cheated on her. FML
Today, I went over to my friend's house. Her 5 year-old son answered the door and when he saw me said, "Oh great, it's YOU!" and slammed the door in my face. FML
Today, our work computers are down so I've been trying to fix it via my home computer for 3 days. My 12-year-old son took one look at the screen, changed 2 settings on a drop down menu, and the problem was fixed. My 12-year-old is better at my job than I am. FML
Today, I went to break up with my psychotic bitch of a girlfriend after months of abuse. When she opened the door, her 5-year-old son ran up to me, smiling and calling me "DADDY!" for the first time. Now I don't have the heart to dump the psycho and devastate her son. FML
Today, I asked my wife for her computer password because my computer crashed. After minutes of begging her, she finally told me. Turns out that her password happens to be her ex's name. FML
Today, I went to see my mother with my kids. Before, I had told my son to give her hugs and kisses and I would buy him candy. He did, but then he told her that I said that. FML
Today, my oldest son answered my phone call much to my surprise as we haven't spoken in a year. The first words out of his mouth were, "I didn't mean to pick up the phone." He then hung up. FML
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Top comments
Luckster 0
One of the many lessons in parenthood: Children can not and WILL not keep their little traps shut!
allmidnighteyes 11
This is when you hide CP on her hard drive
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Comments (121)
allmidnighteyes 11
This is when you hide CP on her hard drive
neonokku 0
You must have hated her for a reason. If it was from like 10 years ago then YDI But if it was pretty recent then it's normal somehow
ILIEKGIRLS 5
i lol'd.
jakeJIGSAW 2
Lmao same!
yougetmecloserto 0
hahahahah best #1 ever.
CPTobvious_fml 0
Ha! At least your son is not a pussy! Why are you going over there anyway... oh yeah that's right ... because you're nice, and you can't be rude... to the person you hate... and you need to bitch and whine about her to a 7 year old.... poor baby.... I feel bad for your son
NeatNit 33
YDI. Everyone knows you can't trust kids with these things...
blalien 0
So many reasons YDI...
awkward_turtles 1
If OP's son does not also belong to his ex, then they stopped dating at least 7 or 8 years ago. Unless she did something terrible which caused him to hate her so much, OP should have gotten over it after 7-8 years. And if he still hates his ex, he shouldn't be going over to her house with his 7 year old son to fix her computer.
lebronesque73091 12
Of course a 7 year old would be completely blunt. Not sure why that is such a big deal, really.
cacheson 42
98, there's another alternative. If he already had the son when he started dating said ex then she could be a very recent ex and not the kid's mother. People with kids do date...
Luckster 0
One of the many lessons in parenthood: Children can not and WILL not keep their little traps shut!
Sygonus 0
"You guys said... that, um... we did this for the show."
CFR 0
Children: The loudest diaries in the world.
intensitive 11
lol
fatherpunk 1
#21 +1.
iloveyou1266 4
Little ears have big mouths !
iloveyou1266 4
Little ears have big mouths !
iloveyou1266 4
Little ears have big mouths !
iloveyou1266 4
Little ears have big mouths !
Intellectualist 0
You are obviously an idiot. Never tell a 7 year old how you feel about a person or otherwise, ever.
lovemyE8 0
yes, exactly! i've gotten into trouble that way myself... very embarrassing! hahahhaha!
tinuelena 0
OMG this is made of win. I'm still laughing.
morningwoody 0
First, why would you talk to you 7 years old son about how much you hated your ex. Second, why would you still help her if you hated her? Unless you expected to fix her pussy after fixing her computer (in front of your son). You totally deserved it !
Luckster 0
There are people in this world who just can't say 'no' to anybody.
jchansfan 0
Why help someone you hate? I mean, really...
nokillnobeepbeep 0
Because he doesn't actually hate her like he tries to make himself believe. But he does want to be back with her. It wouldn't be a FML if he didn't. OP, know the difference between being cordial and being someone's bitch.
lithiumflower 0
Yeah, uh, never say anything within a kid's range of hearing that you don't want repeated. But hey, now you know!
shudashuia 0
the kid so sharp
StaticDown 0
Who says those things to their kids? I might have said I don't like the person, but to tell them that I wish them death thoughts... It's not nice at all... Maybe if the kid was over 13 and it was more understanding... but a 7 year old... YDI