Today, my ex, whom I haven't seen in two years, contacted me. She was great company back in the day, wild in bed, the most attractive person I've ever dated, and totally uninterested in a serious relationship. She wants me to fix her computer. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I received an email from an ex who I haven't heard from in two years. Excited that it might be her asking if we could meet up, I opened it. It was a virus. FML
Today, someone I used to know got in touch with me, after I hadn't heard from him in years. He insisted that we met up as soon as possible, and wanted me to go to his house that afternoon. I spent the afternoon repairing his computer. Since then, no news. FML
Today, I got a call from a girl I fell madly in love with 8 years ago. She disappeared from my life with no trace. Turns out she just finalized her divorce, has 2 wild kids, packed on 75 lbs, has $25,000 in debt and is taking meds to keep from going crazy. Now she wants me back. FML
Today, I got a call from my ex asking if I could fix her computer. I brought my 7 year old son with me. On the way I told him, how I hated her, but I can't be rude. Once we get there, I say to her "it's nice to see you." My son says "but I thought you said you want her to fall off a bridge?" FML
Today, my mom called me and asked me to fix her computer, three days after saying she never wanted to see me again for dating a boy. I got lectured to on how I'm ruining my life the whole time. FML
Today, my ex, who has been asking me to get back with her, told me that she doesn't want to be in a relationship with me when I asked. FML
Today, my ex, who I'm still in love with, emailed me. I thought she changed her mind about us, so I poured my heart out to her. She just wanted to let me know she has chlamydia, and advise me to go to the clinic. FML
Today, I was in an online chatroom speaking to this girl that I really hit it off with. She then confided in me that she'd recently been dumped by her boyfriend and that he was a jerk. A little while later, we exchanged photos. It was my ex. FML
Today, my ex called me up to suggest that we become friends, only so that she could introduce me to her new boyfriend. FML
Today, I talked to my ex on AIM after not speaking to her since we broke up two years ago. The conversation lead up to her asking how I feel about her. So I poured my heart and soul out to her, because I still love her. She immediately logged off. FML
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Top comments
almostkilledme 0
You should have told her that you would take sex as payment.
Wheredidgrungego 12
Hmm, sounds like how 95% of pornos start.
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Comments (109)
FYLDeep 26
She sounded too good to be true until you revealed that she's an android. Maybe if you fix her up she'll stay with you? I'd like to upgrade her RAM if you catch my drift.
FYLDeep 26
I'd like to insert my USB dongle and implant my firmware if you know what I'm saying.
charlotte100 2
Ugh, don't be dumb and oblivious. If u two havent talked in 2 years surely there are other ppl in her life that could fix her computer but instead she thought of u. U should see it as an opportunity!
theguy33 1
Just go there diddle around on her computer a little and say you fixed it then have sex with her.
cincin75 0
Do it! And do her by the way!
perdix 31
Are you dense? She obviously thinks you are better than repulsive. Why don't you get the stick out of your ass and have a relationship with her on her terms? If she's so great, you'd be better off with a casual relationship with her than being owned by some mousy, ugly, dumb bitch. Now, fix that computer, monkey boy, and check your pride at the door!
pasha135 0
hahaha the best advice ever
SkateboardGirl88 11
Fix as in *cough* *cough* *wink wink* lol jk
VixSparda 5
****, that
mrjude 3
Pretty sure this is "f my life", not "brag about my life".
HomeAl0ne 20
There have *got* to be nude pics on that computer. Don't give up until you find them....
lemonpeanut 0
just be glad she thought of you in the first place and don't always assume that ex's wanna get back together; though maybe shes using it as an excuse to start seeing you again?