Today, I got a call from a girl I fell madly in love with 8 years ago. She disappeared from my life with no trace. Turns out she just finalized her divorce, has 2 wild kids, packed on 75 lbs, has $25,000 in debt and is taking meds to keep from going crazy. Now she wants me back. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I received a message on a dating app. It was the girl I'd always wanted to marry, but who disappeared from my life when we were younger. She went on and on about how much she missed me... and how much she wanted me to meet her husband and 3 kids. FML
Today, my girlfriend from high school contacted me, telling me we should hang out some time; I casually agreed. Two hours later she's on my doorstep in tears, wanting me to take her back. She's married with kids. I live four states away and haven't a clue how she found out where I live. FML
Today, the girl who I had a desperate crush on in high school 25 years ago, and who would never go out with me, told me that she was actually head over heels in love with me, but was so cripplingly shy that she couldn't say yes. She's divorced now. I'm married. FML
Today, I met up with my 'on again, off again' girlfriend of 4 years that I'm still madly in love with. We've been broken up for a few months and she's been dating someone else. We talked about possibly trying things again. When I got home, I found out she's engaged. FML
Today, my ex, whom I haven't seen in two years, contacted me. She was great company back in the day, wild in bed, the most attractive person I've ever dated, and totally uninterested in a serious relationship. She wants me to fix her computer. FML
Today, after I got reacquainted with an old friend with whom it'd been 12 years since we last spoke, both divorced, with kids, we started talking, start feeling things for each other. We'd both agreed to take things slow. We spend an amazing weekend together, made plans to spend my birthday together, and then I was ghosted. FML
Today, it's been a year since the girl I'm madly in love with completely cut off all communication with me. She called me crying a year ago, saying she couldn't do the long-distance, unaware I was planning on moving closer to her. Not once has she reached out, and has a girlfriend now. I think about her every night. FML
Today, after seven months apart, I agreed to meet with my ex, wondering if he'd changed. He sure did. He lost a ton of weight and picked up several new hobbies. He also picked up a 23 year-old new girlfriend. She's slimmer and prettier than I'll ever be. I threw my drink in his face and left in tears. FML
Today, I fell in love with a girl who used to love me. She doesn't anymore. FML
Today, I found out my ex had been writing about our relationship to Postsecret. Apparently, she'd been sorry and wanted me back if I still loved her. I have absolutely no idea what she's talking about. I left after 8 months of unreturned texts, calls, emails, and meet-ups. FML
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Top comments
nl98 0
Don't take her back?
saucey12 1
please tell me you changed your number or put a block....
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Comments (122)
nl98 0
Don't take her back?
netherfiend 0
ja don't take her back^^ this is not an FML in fact this would MAKE MY DAY
Card_Games 0
lol, that's what I said.
Saccharide 0
Man, do not do it. You've done it! You've won! She's a mess and you're obviously perfectly fine without her. I do not know why in the hell this is a FML. Except maybe for the fact that she's a crazy bitch.
Kukironosuke 16
its sort of an fml bcuz the op has to realise only when she's at the end of her rope does she consider being with him, which is kind of a blow to the self esteem
Albedo667 5
seriously, would laugh in her face
Randalltk421 0
This is not an FML. OP is just bragging.
saucey12 1
please tell me you changed your number or put a block....
gecko13 0
if you take her back you'll save so much time getting your life started... First! FML
time4coffee 3
no you're not
tooclassy 0
That sucks. I expect you have someonel better than her right now though, correct? I hope you do.
SweetestSin 4
so tell the whack job your already in a commited relationship with someone else
thighsofglory 0
No, tell the whackjob you're single but there's no way in hell, and thank her for thinking you're that stupid.
I_ate_pikachu 0
Well, ya know, if you REALLY loved her...
FerrariCake 2
This is only an FML if you're considering taking her back. Otherwise it's a "I only know realize how lucky I am to have gotten rid of her when I did!"
louie111887 0
run!
ArthursLifeSucks 2
agreed. RUN THE **** AWAY
iplaywow 0
RUN SHE CAN'T CATCH YOU ANYMORE
Mustardnight 3
Fatty waddling!
alex1502 0
2 Things, @130 nice, and how the hell did She get your Number?
shockcrow 0
tell her "sorry, but u had ur chance! look where u ended up..." everything happens for a reason.. sometimes..
EmreArslan 11
Karma struk that biatch hard!
falknir 0
what ..you're kidding? She's totally a keeper!
trailerboy531 0
Well $25 in debt isn't that bad, you can give her a Franklin and tell her to use the rest for a gym membership!
Masenko7 12
made my ******* day
turdburgers 0
25,000 dollars. I assume it's a typo.
CyclonePsycho 1
Actually, if you're speaking Spanish, you use periods to separate every three zeroes in big numbers instead of commas. The OP could be fluent in both and just made the mistake. Makes sense since he lives in Arizona. OP: Don't bother with her. She won't respect you at all. If she treated you like crap when she had the world on a silver platter, then what makes you think things will be different? Leave her alone and never look back. It's not up to you to "fix" her.
joshl 4
yeah, but no one puts 3 zeros for $25.