Today, while playing with a lighter, I jokingly told my boyfriend I would burn his mustache off. He responded by telling me he would burn off mine. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I don't like his facial hair and that he should shave it off. He replied, "You first." FML
Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because I didn't want the house to smell like smoke. While doing so, I knocked over a candle and lit the couch on fire. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied by telling me to fuck off. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML
Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend over text. We wore each others' hats, so I gave his back and asked for mine. He “accidentally” burned it. FML
Today, I waxed my upper lip hair. My boyfriend later told me that he missed my mustache rubbing onto his. FML
Today, I got punched in the face after a stranger asked for a light, didn't realize it was a butane lighter and burnt the tip of his nose lighting his cigarette. Now my nose looks worse than his. FML
Today, my roommate thought it was a good idea to set my beard on fire to wake me up. FML
Today, we were celebrating my birthday and my boyfriend thought it would be funny to shove my face in the cake. While the candles were still lit. FML
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Top comments
Dodie__fml 2
You just got burned
Skulll 13
Don't play with lighters!
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Comments (156)
Skulll 13
Don't play with lighters!
enonymous 9
No. You dont mess with the stache
jillianmathers12 13
You should get it waxed or maybe get the nono it's a tv product that is suppose to be better than waxing without any pain!
rexgar2000 10
that's what u get for joking like that.
TheOptimist 0
11 wins because of picture with comment. Comment section for this thread is now closed.
nitram0606 0
What the helos upon high is going on in here! Ha ha humorous rendition, hehe
margie2194 12
Nair!!! it's wonderful. Really!!! I use it to get rid of my palm hair.
swimchica22 0
;)
xDefendPopPunkx 14
Would just look at that mustache. I mean you should just look at it. You know what you should do before making jokes like? Just look at it! Seriously!
NavySEAL13 0
47 did you get from jacking off to much ?
nerobluerose 10
Awe did he just burn your biscuit and pee in your cornflakes? Walk it off it'll be ok.
_streets_ 19
That has to be the cutest picture I've ever seen.
RedSharpieInk 5
Must be awkward to kiss with both of their mustaches on fire..
PutItIn 8
These comments are dissappointed
Streeet_hayley 6
Never threaten a man with his moustache.
_Oblivion_ 12
Today I was playing with lighte- YDI. Didn't daddy teach you not to play with fire you flaming pyro
acccccccc 1
If you play with fire youll get burnt by fire
skata 4
playing with lighters?!? smokey the bear isnt gonna like this...
Jovecove 13
Nice picture.
Dodie__fml 2
You just got burned
Bbhd05 0
Burned? Or owned?
heylesha 8
i see what you did there
EvilPotato 15
16 no I'm pretty sure he meant burned.
HowAreYouToday 34
16; get help
ShadowLuffer 0
LOl
hutch66 13
16- That awkward moment when someone doesn't get the pun..
DKParth13 5
I mustache you a question. But I'll shave it for later!:D
TwitchingNebula 17
I think he's attracted to your 'stash. Take it as a compliment.
thaCODgod 4
16 is a failure.
dragon0000 7
Burned dumbass
WithaKay 4
I don't understand how him saying the exact same thing she said makes him the bad guy.
4ugu4 7
Haha nice one(:
stuffhappens223 7
Win
shanie123 10
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Fyl lol but that's funny
PunkSk8ter 0
I mustache you a question, but I'll shave it for later.
atomicbaboon 0
Okay. But I must warns you. Eyebrows google for answers.
jackii1313 9
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Maybe it's just peach fuzz...very noticeable peach fuzz? Hahaha, fyl
zombicidal 11
magnum P.I. is a jerk
ikickgingers 15
I hate you. :/
ItsTheKing 10
You know who I hate? Eda and teezy, that's who.
eminemchick 19
He only hates us because his name is Pablo.
ItsTheKing 10
@82 That's ******* low Eda. LOW. I mustache you a question though. Why must you offend me like this.
eminemchick 19
how is it offensive? Pablo is an awesome name. :D It's not beard at all.
ItsTheKing 10
Are you attempting to start a pun war? You better shave your best puns for last because you will need it.
eminemchick 19
I don't want to involve myself in a pun contest. I'm hair to a powerful throne that waxes all wrongdoers. So begone..!
ItsTheKing 10
No one Shed your throne would give you an advantage. To be fHair I am very skilled in these kinds of things. So bring it on.
Nosrebor 8
You are both really lame and 95 you took those puns from an earlier post on this same FML. :-/
eminemchick 19
lol but at least we have friends lol If making lame jokes isn't fair, why the hell are all these idiots on fml. Seriously, take a joke. :P
apv0222 0
Have u ever had your mustaches tangle up?
olpally 33
Mustache ride for everyone :D
Wheredidgrungego 12
I mustache you a question, but I'll shave it for later :D
olpally 33
Nice one 57. :D
lexex1 4
Moustaches are boss.
white16sox 19
Especially hitler's.
atomicbaboon 0
He stole it from Charlie Chaplin.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Ouch...Well, women are always complaining about what a chore it is to shave, and what a pain it is to wax, and how long it takes to pluck, so just embrace it as your new preferred method of hair removal. It's quick, easy, and totally ****** awesome. And if you do it right, your moustache might never grow back!
Bbhd05 0
How the **** does your comment have 0 thumbs up?! *thumbs up*
hailphire130 0
Yeah, she'll have that sexy melted skin scar over her lip too. I'm getting a boner just thinking about it...
AnnieHodge03 0
fyl!!
Jdog619 11
You do realize there is a button for that. You don't have to clutter the comment section to say this.
AnnieHodge03 0
fyl!!