Today, my girlfriend threatened to leave me if I didn't follow her latest fad of becoming a goth, which involves dressing like an undertaker's haunted hearse and putting on eyeliner. Last week she was into Reggae and beanie hats. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, and since we met, my girlfriend has forced me to change my hair, clothing and jewellery, and my diet. She has changed basically everything about me. Then this morning she dumped me because I'm "not the guy she fell in love with a year ago". I'm not even upset because its too funny. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to get a new haircut. Now, she hates the haircut and blames me for, in her words, "turning me into something I'm not." FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I was "changing too much." My big change was a haircut. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML
Today, my girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I don't like her Facebook statuses enough. FML
Today, my mother threatened to disown me if I didn't break up with my tattooed girlfriend. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of one week is suicidal and crazy about me. She showed me that she'd carved her old boyfriend's name in her arm, and she threatened suicide if I ever left her. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I "always wear that stupid little hat." I'm Jewish. FML
Today, my girlfriend had a bitch fit at me because I laughed at her idea of getting the Cullen family tree tattooed on her back. FML
Today, my boyfriend had a tantrum because I didn't like Black Sabbath as much as him. Apparently our entire relationship was based on him thinking I did. I've now been labeled "The Queen of Lies." FML
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Top comments
faeynt 0
get a new gf :)
jsprackman 11
Maybe next she will dress like elton john
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Comments (316)
koekj 6
Become a hipster, beat her to it!
Jimster1712 0
Being a hipster is too mainstream.
sailorzoe 14
It's called sarcasm. But nice try.
stacianichole 2
67 - I think you missed the joke there. OP's girlfriend is all about mainstream fads and trends rather than being herself. Get it?
ohmandapants 17
Too many ******* hipsters all over the ******* place.
fo_86 0
Is this chick 12 by any chance?
gabrielbaby 9
That's what I'm wondering.
sheethapins 13
Ten bucks she's in her early to mid thirties.
rattusrattus 19
I have the misfortune to know a 20-year-old moron like this. She's also have 4 fiances and pretends to have chronic health conditions such as type 1 diabetes. She tried that one on me, a type 1 diabetic. Bit of an attention ***** who hasn't figured out the link between cause and effect. She can't work out why everyone hates her. On the other hand, she's a wonderful muse if I need a dumb bitch character. OP, I suggest you get away ASAP. I'm betting it wont be pretty though.
anencephalic 14
111 - cool story, bro.
IPoopedOnU 12
Hey bitch I'm 12!!! So **** off! At least I'm not like this weirdo!
KY_Jelly 10
Wow. How about you try the latest fad of dumping her?
Fruit_Dealer 9
Nicely presented sir. I would have prefered abandonning the sinking boat but using bowel movements as an analogy is decent as well.
trollfaced 2
Dump her ass, plain and simple
every1luvsboners 11
Really no need to worry until she starts dressing up like a dishwasher repair man and tries to cram various objects up your arse. Goth and Reggae are stage one and two. You have at least three more weeks of good sex before the anal exploration phase starts.
NPN_Scorpio 16
And that's a bad thing how?:) Dig for Black Gold, get a prostate ******!
meeexxx 18
ydi for not leaving the lunatic
Skipper1439 1
pack yoyr backs Charls were joinin the circus
Savra_fml 17
The "Dyslexic Brothers" Circus Co {Est. 2011}?
Steve95401 49
At least she's not into Justin Bieber. Give her a couple of weeks and she'll move on to the next fad.
rattusrattus 19
She probably went through Beiber Fever already. Which is a mixed blessing, because she probably wont go back but OP would have had to put up with it for a while.
sammieg17 5
Well r u gonna do it?
MyS3lf 24
Do me a favor: Imagine the rest of your life with that kind of crazy. Think you can deal with it? If the answer is no, I suggest that you leave her.