Today, my girlfriend threatened to leave me if I didn't follow her latest fad of becoming a goth, which involves dressing like an undertaker's haunted hearse and putting on eyeliner. Last week she was into Reggae and beanie hats. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, and since we met, my girlfriend has forced me to change my hair, clothing and jewellery, and my diet. She has changed basically everything about me. Then this morning she dumped me because I'm "not the guy she fell in love with a year ago". I'm not even upset because its too funny. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to get a new haircut. Now, she hates the haircut and blames me for, in her words, "turning me into something I'm not." FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I was "changing too much." My big change was a haircut. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML
Today, my girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I don't like her Facebook statuses enough. FML
Today, my mother threatened to disown me if I didn't break up with my tattooed girlfriend. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of one week is suicidal and crazy about me. She showed me that she'd carved her old boyfriend's name in her arm, and she threatened suicide if I ever left her. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I "always wear that stupid little hat." I'm Jewish. FML
Today, my girlfriend had a bitch fit at me because I laughed at her idea of getting the Cullen family tree tattooed on her back. FML
Today, my boyfriend had a tantrum because I didn't like Black Sabbath as much as him. Apparently our entire relationship was based on him thinking I did. I've now been labeled "The Queen of Lies." FML
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Top comments
faeynt 0
get a new gf :)
jsprackman 11
Maybe next she will dress like elton john
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Comments (316)
Shimmykitties 0
I am a girl. And I HATE girls. Dump the dumn bitch. I ******* hate it when girls think they can force their boyfriends to do whatever they want just because they have a ******. **** that man. Bitches aren't worth it.
AtrumMessor 1
YDI for staying with her.
bannedforlife 0
Enjoy being single!
Lexxya 7
I'm sure you can find a better girl. Time to leave her and be happy.
ZielZone 4
3 options here. Tell her to grow up, leave her stupid ass for someone more mature, suck it up and enjoy the sex
sheethapins 13
Imagine what it's like for this chick ordering food. "Soup. No, salad. No, steak. No, soup. Order the soup, ok? You better order the damn soup." Soup is ordered. "Call them back, we want steak. Steak! No... Salad?"
Mrsa7x 1
at least it only lasts a week.
Namenlos_fml 20
There are worse things than being single
TheGreenArrow 3
Doesn't matter had sex
CassieMarieee 7
I think it's about time for a new girlfriend..
brock329 3
It's def time for a new gf!!!