Today, I went to a Halloween party dressed as a pirate. Someone complimented me on how convincing the fake teeth were that I had on for my costume. I wasn't wearing fake teeth. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was performing a show about pirates for a youth program. A child started crying because I wasn't a real pirate. A little girl took my defense, saying, "He's a real pirate, his teeth are all yellow!" FML
Today, everyone commented on how realistic my "fat suit" was. I didn't dress up for Halloween. FML
Today, at a party I told this guy that I really liked his pirate costume. Turns out he wasn't wearing a costume, his eye was shot out with a BB gun. This explains the eye patch. FML
Today, I went to a dress up party. The theme was pirates and prostitutes. At the door I was handed a voucher that said: 'Thank you for dressing up. Collect your free drink at the bar.' I didn't dress up. FML
Today, I went out for a few drinks with some friends. All night, I kept smiling and showing off my newly brace-free teeth. Later on, one of my friends drunkly asked, "Why does she keep smiling? Her teeth are fucking jacked." FML
Today, I went to a party dressed as a zombie. Everyone admired my hilarious "zombie dancing". Those were my regular dance moves. FML
Today, I went to a costume party dressed as a pineapple. As it turned out, the theme was "tropical", not "tropical fruit". Everyone else was in Hawaiian shirts while I stood there looking fruity. FML
Today, I dressed up like a pirate, dressed my dog as a parrot and bought $30 worth of candy to pass out to trick-or-treaters. I waited by the door for 3 hours. Not one kid came. FML
Today, it was Halloween, and I was giving candy to kids. When a group of kids who looked like they were around 4 years old came up to me and said, "Hey mister, do you have one of those things that make it look like you are fat under your shirt?" I didn't have one of those, but I lied and said, "Yes." FML
Today, my company had a Halloween party. I was so excited seeing as our company never does anything, so I pulled out all the stops with my costume. I was the only one who got dressed up. FML
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Top comments
Wizardo 34
Yarrr, there be no dental plan in a pirates life. Ya lilly livered scum.
JMichael 26
Time to start brushing?
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Comments (47)
Wizardo 34
Yarrr, there be no dental plan in a pirates life. Ya lilly livered scum.
BigLatchZatch 14
Dat scurvy doe
redneck66 11
doe...a female deer? is that what you mean? im really thinking theres a literacy problem. sorry, but that girls running her mouth about rednecks in the comments below.
brand125 17
33 - just shut up no one cares..
JMichael 26
Time to start brushing?
lulinator 40
Sounds like it's a bit late for that.
cakefete2 31
Veneers?
Nessco 36
Time to visit a dentist.
sayyestothedress 24
OP I heard there's this new invention called toothpaste!
leviheichou 15
Ahhh I know how that feels. Sorry to hear OP!
jad0016 12
Do you... Do you really??
leviheichou 15
I've had really bad teeth for a while so I've gotten many comments about it. I haven't had someone compliment my 'fake teeth' though, but I've gotten many rude comments in the past.
anonymous100000 17
hygiene is good 364 days of the year apparently
sayyestothedress 24
*365
Earths_Venus 25
Get fake teeth. Wear them 364 days a year.
GoingSol 15
Hey, you played the part well...
buttersmom 14
Go with it and tell nobody.
ThePaperDragon 31
Maybe your insurance policy covers dental work?
ChelseaSmile001 15
Just go along with it, for now! It sucks, yes, but at least they think it's part of the costume?