Today, I went to a Halloween party dressed as a pirate. Someone complimented me on how convincing the fake teeth were that I had on for my costume. I wasn't wearing fake teeth. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was performing a show about pirates for a youth program. A child started crying because I wasn't a real pirate. A little girl took my defense, saying, "He's a real pirate, his teeth are all yellow!" FML
Today, everyone commented on how realistic my "fat suit" was. I didn't dress up for Halloween. FML
Today, at a party I told this guy that I really liked his pirate costume. Turns out he wasn't wearing a costume, his eye was shot out with a BB gun. This explains the eye patch. FML
Today, I went to a dress up party. The theme was pirates and prostitutes. At the door I was handed a voucher that said: 'Thank you for dressing up. Collect your free drink at the bar.' I didn't dress up. FML
Today, I went out for a few drinks with some friends. All night, I kept smiling and showing off my newly brace-free teeth. Later on, one of my friends drunkly asked, "Why does she keep smiling? Her teeth are fucking jacked." FML
Today, I went to a party dressed as a zombie. Everyone admired my hilarious "zombie dancing". Those were my regular dance moves. FML
Today, I went to a costume party dressed as a pineapple. As it turned out, the theme was "tropical", not "tropical fruit". Everyone else was in Hawaiian shirts while I stood there looking fruity. FML
Today, I dressed up like a pirate, dressed my dog as a parrot and bought $30 worth of candy to pass out to trick-or-treaters. I waited by the door for 3 hours. Not one kid came. FML
Today, it was Halloween, and I was giving candy to kids. When a group of kids who looked like they were around 4 years old came up to me and said, "Hey mister, do you have one of those things that make it look like you are fat under your shirt?" I didn't have one of those, but I lied and said, "Yes." FML
Today, my company had a Halloween party. I was so excited seeing as our company never does anything, so I pulled out all the stops with my costume. I was the only one who got dressed up. FML
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Top comments
Wizardo 34
Yarrr, there be no dental plan in a pirates life. Ya lilly livered scum.
JMichael 26
Time to start brushing?
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Comments (47)
BrownEyednWild86 7
get your teeth fixed
bruuuuh 7
Redneck problems.
RedPillSucks 33
Or people how can't afford a dental plan, which is 80% of the world
redneck66 11
i really hate to tell you this...but sweety, im 18, reneck as hell, and i have perfect teeth. never had a problem with them. and yeah, i dip. my teeth just stay perfect. so the stereotypes, huh?....how about this, i think youre an idiot because you cant even form a real word as your username. just bruuuuh...sounds like youre either high on meth, or you listen to rap too much.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
#31 Wouldn't be too proud of having perfect teeth because you could end up with mouth cancer later on, with you dipping and all. Hopefully not, but still. Also, even though her comment was rude, saying "sweety" like that just sounds condescending and makes people tune out the rest of your argument as well.
bruuuuh 7
Now you're the one stereotyping . Just because of my User name doesn't mean I'm dumb or listen to rap or do drugs. I've never done drugs, country is my favorite genre of music and I have a 4.0 gpa but thanks for trying! Btw I'm sorry if my comment offended you I didn't intend for it to offend anyone!
mylifebitches666 18
take a hint op
vipirius 18
Someone hasn't been eating enough apples.
Psychosys 16
It's an apple a day keeps the doctor away, not the dentist
lulinator 40
Actually, apples are great for teeth. They stimulate the gums, and increase saliva flow. Apple juice, on the other hand, not quite so good for teeth!
redneck66 11
well look at you! all dental and whatnot.^
DianaFrances411 13
A dentist IS a doctor
Flowtastic 16
Fix yo grill
ostfaiz 18
Hows that possible on a costume, somebody help me in gasping
brivielle 15
Yea i underrstand the gasping. It's pne of the reactions you get when you get high pn something. Hopefully life.
blindkid1790 12
rum. rums good
CandyApple88 13
See a dentist. And don't be like a dude I know with only 4 teeth left, thinking the girls all want him because he now resembles a rabbit with only two front teeth....
xTwinkies1 14
i guess its Time to get them fix
hellowisaid 15
It's also a good fml from the others persons point ov view