Today, I went out for a few drinks with some friends. All night, I kept smiling and showing off my newly brace-free teeth. Later on, one of my friends drunkly asked, "Why does she keep smiling? Her teeth are fucking jacked." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I have an orthodontist's appointment, and I told my best friend that I was going to get my teeth fixed. She replied, "Wow, thanks. Your smile's really awful to have to look at." FML
Today, I woke up after a long night of partying. When I went to wash off my face, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My missing tooth was almost enough to make me overlook my black eye. FML
Today, I told a friend I was going to the dentist for the first time in years. He immediately replied, "Yay! Teeth whitening!" I hadn't mentioned teeth whitening. I'm not even going for teeth whitening. -5 XP new insecurity unlocked. FML
Today, I went to a cosmetic dentist and got a chip in my tooth filled in that I’d had since I was 7. I went out later and my friend jokingly hit my head against the table a few times to make fun of me showing off my teeth. He slipped. I fell. I now have 2 chipped teeth and a broken nose. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend why she's been avoiding kissing me lately. Apparently she had a dream that one of my teeth caught on her braces, and all of her teeth got pulled out like a string of pearls. It seems unlikely she will be un-scarred any time soon. FML
Today, I drank a ton of beers for my 25th birthday. My friends love to watch me open beer bottles with my teeth. I chipped both of my front uppers doing this. I'm no longer covered by my parents dental insurance because I'm 25 now. FML
Today, while my orthodontist was working on my teeth, she made the comment, "Wow! It looks like a murder scene in there!" FML
Today, a guy said to me, "I'd really love to see that smile back at my place." Trying to be cute, I asked him if he was single. He replied with, "No, but I am a dentist. I could definitely fix that crossbite." FML
Today, at the store, I heard a kid complaining about getting braces. While I was saying "Thank you" and "Bye" to the cashier, his grandma must've seen my slightly crooked teeth. She pointed and said, "Without them, your teeth will look bad like that man's!" Everyone around looked at me. FML
Today, I got hit in the mouth with a hockey stick and lost four teeth. Yesterday I got my braces of six years removed. FML
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Top comments
randomthing 22
Keep smiling! Don't let that comment bother you. I bet you have an amazing smile :)
krad204 21
Punch that guy in the teeth!
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Comments (101)
krad204 21
Punch that guy in the teeth!
omnomnicon 9
And then say, "Now you do too!"
kj51 5
Don't worry only 70% of what drunk people say is true. It is quite likely that he/she is jealous. So if you see your teeth as straight and nice than they must be
Tay_racer10 3
Yeah he probably couldn't see shit!
AKGirlinSD 20
Adding to 1's comment, after decking the friend, I'd say, "Thanks for noticing that my braces are off!" Drunk or not, the friend will feel like a dipshit.
hatesfate 6
28 - and you pulled that figure from where?
JocelynKaulitz 28
Maybe he was drunk to the point where his vision was already messed up?
jezane 9
20% of statistics are made up... Just think about that for a second.
Gregory607 1
110% of statistics on the Internet are made up
randomthing 22
Keep smiling! Don't let that comment bother you. I bet you have an amazing smile :)
piff7 14
Or she didn't wear her retainer and they shifted? Idk I'm just providing the only explanation for what that guy said
mfischer 17
22- here's another one: he was drunk.
MissMae93 23
32 - That's preposterous! Someone saying something completely stupid and out of line when they are drunk?! Not a chance! ;) but seriously 22, obviously the friend was saying that due to the ridiculous amounts of alcohol I'm assuming were consumed that night.
TehDean 4
Drunken words are sober thoughts.
dreamer9614 3
22- 'newly brace free' leads me to believe they haven't been off very long. That takes a few months.
KrazieKleo 13
What a ******* dick. But he was drunk and telling the truth so don't mind him. Be happy about yourself.
dmac843 2
Why do people think drunks are telling the truth? By definition, a drunk's senses and perceptions are altered, under taw influence of a mind altering drug, preventing him from even knowing the truth really is.
instnt1nfction 17
Theories state that alcohol speaks out your inner thoughts. Also limp dick.
onlychildFTW 34
Drinks don't lie. But they tell the truth as they see it when drunk. Which may not be the real truth.
Rezorate 5
You're an idiot.
Warden1986 16
#16 Alcohol does make you speak the truth. Usual people that are sober hold things back because they are in control of there emotions. When one self is drunk you are not in control of your emotions. That's why there's so different types of drunks. It's like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get next.
Kilv 13
Neither a fact nor a feeling told when drunk is true. When drunk, you lack many social qualities needed to make a decision that reflects what your feelings really are. A good exemple of that is the way get to ask ourselves how did we get to do such things we would otherwise not have done.
smtm2012 6
That guy is a total ass-hat.
annagilbert 6
What the hell is an ass hat?
deBlobX 12
Undies
bioboy725 10
It's slang for a jerk.
FATTY_MCDOOGLE 29
I don't know why, but I always laugh so hard at the word asshat.
KalCountry76 12
He's probably got bad teeth and is jealous of your fabulous pearly whites. :P
Marrach 7
How do we know they're pearly? Anyways, he was a drunkard .. People express their opinions while intoxicated. Opinions are like assholes, EVERYBODY has one.
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
Bad simile
brandon3747 16
Well at least you have them off! I'm from Alberta too!
lml2 2
Me too!
Jjgibbs 5
Well no1 really cares
Jjgibbs 5
I care
kristinakrissy 0
I'm from Alberta as well :D
MandieL 27
Me as well :D
babe7260 30
Me too lol
lacespace 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
If you just got your braces off that was probably a drunk joke. Jeez lighten up, ex-still -insecure-about-it-brace-face.
MissMae93 23
Wow, 8, you deserve an award for the amount of bitchy-ness in that comment.
lacespace 8
I knew brace face was the lowest of the low. Don't know why I did it. Especially to someone who doesn't have braces anymore. That is a ******* BURN! I keep getting this site confused with a humor site. But I'm not complaining its always nice to be apart of a support group community. Oh and thank you dear friend, for the award (only my second one ever!!) and support. ;)
MissMae93 23
40 - Ah, but there's a fine line between being funny and being a total ass, my friend.
lacespace 8
And I erase that line
CharresBarkrey 16
48- no, you cross it.
lacespace 8
Shucks. Fun bunch you guys are.
pop7467 7
8, you are such a sarcastic little bitch :p
agonydrum 7
Now now guys we don't want to hurt lace's feelings do we? After all this site isn't about being anonymously mean to people it's abou- oh wait...yes it is
MisterMichael 9
Why is everyone assuming the friend is a guy?
DomDomxoxo 16
Why does it matter?
thrAsHeRr9081 16
27- No, you made it that way, fucktard.
capslockisgood 19
27 - Not enough information has been provided to us for that inference to be plausible.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
People like throw around words like sexist a lot. Don't mind them you'll just add fuel to their fire. They probably don't even know what true sexism is.
jelly713 19
Well, the voice of the friend's words sounds male. Certain words give the connotation that a male is speaking. The word "jacked" sounds a bit harsh for a girly girl to say. A girl's voice sounds a bit too soft to say certain words, to insult someone, without sounding like they try too hard or sound ghetto. Hence the stereotype, real ladies don't cuss, comes to mind (bullshit, I know).
Metallica36176 16
62 - I agree :) Yeah I cuss on the internet all the time but I never cuss in front of men in person. I find it disrespectful and it makes the guy look like he can't do any better. I feel horrible (almost dirty) cussing in front of men. But for this FML I actually thought OPs friend was a girl. A girls night out was what came to mind first.
Metallica36176 16
But that's just ME. before I get all the downvotes from people saying I'm not a strong woman....oi.
jelly713 19
Oh, Metallica! I grew up with that band. Exactly, I don't like cussing more than my guy friends. I only cuss when I'm angry, like most people should only cuss because it sounds dumb hearing it for every sentence. Not to offend anyone who does.
UncleMuscles 5
Just interpret that as you having muscular gums.
Carmstro 13
That's what I thought for a moment. I've never heard "jacked" as a negative phrase.
Marrach 7
Your profile pic made me think you said "Muscular Buns" ..
secretsymbiote21 5
that guys a Jerk. maybe he meant they weren't white. usually newly brace-free teeth aren't white kind of
MissMae93 23
Oh Lordy, where do I begin... "That guy's a jerk. Maybe he meant they weren't white? Usually newly brace-free teeth are not that white". I'm assuming that's what you meant?
Sh3sth3blad3 0
His sentence wasn't even that bad in grammar or spelling. You're just being annoying. -___-
MissMae93 23
Sorry, not going to lie but I was in a relatively grumpy mood when I posted that. My apologies 11! I accept all thumbs down for that one.