Today, a customer bought several drill bits. When I asked him, "Do you want a bag for your bits?" he just stared at me uncomfortably, apparently thinking I was trying to come onto him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while working at a bank, I helped a customer who was making a large withdrawal. After I counted out his money, I asked "Do you want the strap on?" After a moment of awkward silence, as I realized how that came out, he smiled and said, "No thanks, I don't need one." and winked. Great. FML
Today, at work, a customer asked where the shovels were. I tried to ask him if he was looking for snow shovels or regular shovels. It came out, "Are you looking for show snovels?" He then awkwardly said he was looking for snow shovels. FML
Today, a customer opened with, "You open bottles with them thangs?" I looked around my desk for something he might've confused with an actual bottle opener. His girlfriend then informed me that he was talking about my breasts. I work for a bank. FML
Today, a customer came into the music shop I work in to look at guitars. After calling the customer "Dude," and "Man," numerous times, they stalked off suddenly. When I asked if everything was okay, they responded with, "I'm female, you asshole!" FML
Today, working in retail, I noticed a customer looking for an item, so I walked up to them and asked, "Is there something I can help you find?" He replied, "Did I ask for your fucking help?" FML
Today, at work, I was putting away clothes in the Men's department, when a guy came and started shopping in the aisle in front of me. He kept staring at me non-stop. Getting fed up, I said "What are you staring at?" Turns out he was wearing his sunglasses on the back of his head. FML
Today, I was checking out a customer who seemed quite friendly. As I finished, he reached slightly over the counter and I impulsively reached out and shook his hand. He gave me a dumbfounded look and said, "Can I have my change please?" FML
Today, a customer gave me the dirtiest look ever and muttered, "Goody two-shoes prick" after I asked if he'd like to donate a few cents to charity. FML
Today, working as a cashier, I had a customer come through and ask to purchase a bag of ice. I asked, "Eight pound or twenty pound?", referring to the clearly marked weight of the bags. He replied, "What's the difference?" FML
Today, I went to a corner store to restock my chocolate stash. A guy from work walked in to see me and the cashier arguing about the amount of candy I was trying to buy with a jar of pennies. He took one look at me and said, "That time of the month, eh?" FML
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Top comments
turdoblast 21
lmao oh unintended puns. you should've continued on and said "I was just offering because I didn't want you to have to hold your bits in your hands," just to really seal the deal
Nymeria_fml 25
So I guess he doesn't want you to cum onto him either.
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Comments (35)
turdoblast 21
lmao oh unintended puns. you should've continued on and said "I was just offering because I didn't want you to have to hold your bits in your hands," just to really seal the deal
sayyestothedress 24
Plot twist: OP really was trying to come onto him
Nymeria_fml 25
So I guess he doesn't want you to cum onto him either.
tony1891 22
thats a "bit" kinky i would say.
Nymeria_fml 25
Well, it's his fault really. He shouldn't be at the hardware store unless he wants something hard.
redneck66 11
thats hilarious haha...but yeah, kinky. but kinys good, dont get me wrong. ;)
Wizardo 34
Nuts, its not like you were asking him to screw. Don't get to washed up about it, it'll only throw a spanner in your works.
redneck66 11
you worked really hard on that haha:) looks like it. its like a joke on a joke on a joke.
CrAzYELF4 26
Thank you for explaining that #21.
leviheichou 15
Don't you just love awkward moments?
Earths_Venus 25
He's already got an old bag at home!
gurbism 16
At least it would be a fairly original pick up line. Although, I don't know how he interpreted that as a line given the context of the situation.
Mynamewontfi 40
It's weird of him to come to that conclusion after buying bits.
redneck66 11
I think he was checkin her out...THEN she said that and he went into like a porno kinda trance.
Likian5 26
Am I the only one who doesn't understand how that works? How does "bag for your bits" sound flirtatious in any way?
yuggi1 11
I don't get the pick up line. It flew past my head.
chidexy 21
Yeah me too
RoboCunnilingus 23
I'm assuming we're from two places that are verrry far away from each other, as I didn't really get the innuendo. Anyone care to explain?