Today, I tried to help a bird who had broken his wing. I walked straight into a door while looking down at him in my hands, and ended up all but breaking his other wing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was caring for a bird that had flown into my window. I thought the poor thing wouldn't make it, when it shit in my hand, flew into my neck, then around my living room for ages before I could manage to get it out of the window. FML
Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML
Today, a bird ran into my window. My overzealous cat ran at it like the Flash and smashed his face in the window. He yelped and ran away, then as I was running to see if he was OK, I slammed my face in the door jamb. FML
Today, I spent twenty minutes trying to shoo a bird out of my apartment. After finally getting it outside, I closed the window, turned around, and realized I'd locked myself out instead. The bird flew away. I didn't. FML
Today, I was watching a beautiful flock of birds flying overhead while walking in the street. The guy next to me was lucky enough to catch bird poop with his forehead. I was lucky enough to get distracted by it, trip, and break my ankle. FML
Today, I was walking in the kitchen with my parrot on my shoulder and my dog running around. Something freaked out my bird and she bit my ear and started flapping her wings in my face. Surprised, I took a step back, tripped over my dog, fell, hit my head on the stove, and got knocked unconscious. FML
Today, I watched a cat pounce on a small bird and rip it to shreds, feather by feather. It wouldn't have been any worse than mildly disturbing, had I not just spent the last 4 weeks nursing the bird back to health from a broken wing. FML
Today, I decided to confront my fear of birds when my friend's pet bird was walking up to me. He got on my arm, climbed up, and attacked my face. FML
Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML
Today, I walked out into my backyard. As I did so, my dogs ran past me, slamming the sliding door off its track. I went to catch it, and knocked the bird cage over. To complete the fumble, as I turned to catch the bird cage, I stepped in a dog turd. I wasn't wearing shoes. We're all okay, but… FML
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Top comments
cuppycakeslove 20
More like **** that poor birds life.
mikailanicole98 11
I could just see it now, "Today, a human tried to help me recover from a broken wing, but the idiot walked straight into a door with me still in its hands, breaking my other wing. FML"
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Comments (88)
ladyvidel 19
That sucks, sorry OP.
leopardwilliam 22
What a creative comment!
ILoveMyArm 15
@11 Wow, another comment complaining about a comment! Those are rare.
buddy51 23
#21- Almost as rare a comments complaining about comments complaining about comments......
lonewolf621 17
And how is this supposed to help?
VenomSiphon 13
I hope OP was like TAAAKE...THESE BROKEN WINGS...AND LEARN TO FLY AGAIN, LEARN TO LIVE SO FREE
MadisonDerp 16
Second comment.. My life goal is complete
asparagus12 21
Nope! #2. The first to lose.
cuppycakeslove 20
You must have a sad life if that's your life goal.
MadisonDerp 16
Well I thought it was first comment before I refreshed it, but then I couldn't delete it..
cuppycakeslove 20
More like **** that poor birds life.
mikailanicole98 11
I could just see it now, "Today, a human tried to help me recover from a broken wing, but the idiot walked straight into a door with me still in its hands, breaking my other wing. FML"
hcollins1 18
Well 19, with both of its wings broken, it would be hard for the bird to write the FML haha
deadhead419 15
Shut up
badluckross 21
#19 and #44 I think when OP says all but breaking its other wing they really mean that the bird broke everything BUT its other wing.
SneezyBear 27
#61, sorry to be a grammar nazi here but 'all but breaking his other wing' has a different meaning to 'breaking all but his other wing'. The phrase 'all but' in the former sentence means 'very nearly' or 'for all intents and purposes' while in the latter it means 'all except'. Repeat apology for being a grammar nazi ><
cmayer 20
Thanks 63! I've always understood the phrase but it's never been explained so clearly and that made my understanding of it that much better. :)
SneezyBear 27
You're welcome cmayer :D in fact both 'all buts' really have the same meaning ('all except') - imagine the sentence reworded as 'the bird's wing was all but broken' -> the bird's wing was battered/bruised/shattered, everything except actually broken. 'all but breaking the bird's wing' is the exact same phrase, just a re-ordering of the words. Why am I going on about this so in-depth? *flees*
DenBriZel 31
More like eff the birds life. Poor little guy. Well, at least you were trying to help!
Wizardo 34
Well it just looks like it will need more help and less glass doors...
Damian95 16
At least OP was trying to do the right thing. Its the thought that counts....right?
daringtoride 27
Aw, poor bird! :( I hope you took it to the vet and it turned out okay, OP.
firstbasemaster 15
Well it sounds like your pretty clumsy
ImAFaker 29
You're*. Sounds like you're pretty clumsy. And he is. He walked into a glass door. :)
Imhere4fml 24
She, she walked into a glass door. :)
rachelgreen13 7
Did I miss the part where the door was deemed to be made of glass, or...
MateRicks 18
I really don't know what to say. It's good you tried to help. It's nice to see that in this day and age
AppleJuiceBox 10
On the bright side, you can help mend its other wing as well. Just watch out for doors.
brittyboo123 35
Poor bird.