Today, I went on a date with a co-worker I've been interested in for some time. The topic of discussion she chose over lunch: how she's living a double-life as an escort in Flint and that she thinks she's picked up an STD from unprotected sex. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after what I thought was several weeks of flirting with a coworker, I asked her out on a date. She asked if it could be a double date, and I said yes. I brought a friend, she brought her husband. FML
Today, as my date and I were climbing into bed, she casually mentioned she’s never had an anonymous one night stand before. We work in the same office; that’s where we met. Apparently, I was always under her radar, and she assumed I was a customer instead of her coworker of two years. FML
Today, since I've been falling for the girl I've been sleeping with for the past couple of months, I decided it was time for us to talk about making things official and exclusive. I was confident she'd feel the same way. Then I found out she's an escort. FML
Today, a coworker asked me out and we’ve been on a few dates. I had no idea why she’d want to date me, until after we had sex and she started crying and confessed she was molested as a teen, and since her attacker was short and gross like me, she wanted to use me to work out her repressed issues. FML
Today, I found out I have an STD, courtesy of my girlfriend. Funnily enough, she was clean when we first started dating. FML
Today, I went on a blind date a girl from work had set me up with. Apparently my co-worker thinks I'm gay. FML
Today, the girl I work with, who I’ve developed feelings for, started dating another guy at work. She’d told me that she “doesn’t believe” in dating coworkers and she doesn’t “shit where she eats.” FML
Today, I went on a date with a beautiful woman I had recently met. Great food, great conversation, and a great connection. That is, until she revealed that she is a lesbian. FML
Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML
Today, I found out that the co-worker I have been dating and falling for is the same co-worker that had been spreading rumors about me and getting me in trouble with my boss. FML
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Top comments
ksks1234 33
At least you found out about the STD before possibly having sex with her.
kittykaos 14
Classy.
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Comments (134)
kimj356 6
Well did you hit it?
vinito 3
wow
pamiehamie 12
She actually admitted that too you? ha
enzo875 4
She wants that D
Shmatterhorn 38
Well, what did you want to talk about. Your boring job? ;-) Still, I'd at least you now know that she is not the one for you.
Ajwc101 24
Idk Noor I think I'd rather have the bathroom card played on me just because its such a classic.
Iniezian 18
This was probably her way of rejecting you, and getting a free meal out of it.
lowshadows 21
seriously whats with the double life? does your work not provide enough money?
Koleckai 16
This isn't an FML. It is a bullet dodged. It could be worse. Some STDs can't be fixed.
drzfinest062011 4
man that really suck I would of walked away and put a big FML in my forehead lmao