Today, I went on a date with a co-worker I've been interested in for some time. The topic of discussion she chose over lunch: how she's living a double-life as an escort in Flint and that she thinks she's picked up an STD from unprotected sex. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after what I thought was several weeks of flirting with a coworker, I asked her out on a date. She asked if it could be a double date, and I said yes. I brought a friend, she brought her husband. FML
Today, as my date and I were climbing into bed, she casually mentioned she’s never had an anonymous one night stand before. We work in the same office; that’s where we met. Apparently, I was always under her radar, and she assumed I was a customer instead of her coworker of two years. FML
Today, since I've been falling for the girl I've been sleeping with for the past couple of months, I decided it was time for us to talk about making things official and exclusive. I was confident she'd feel the same way. Then I found out she's an escort. FML
Today, a coworker asked me out and we’ve been on a few dates. I had no idea why she’d want to date me, until after we had sex and she started crying and confessed she was molested as a teen, and since her attacker was short and gross like me, she wanted to use me to work out her repressed issues. FML
Today, I found out I have an STD, courtesy of my girlfriend. Funnily enough, she was clean when we first started dating. FML
Today, I went on a blind date a girl from work had set me up with. Apparently my co-worker thinks I'm gay. FML
Today, the girl I work with, who I’ve developed feelings for, started dating another guy at work. She’d told me that she “doesn’t believe” in dating coworkers and she doesn’t “shit where she eats.” FML
Today, I went on a date with a beautiful woman I had recently met. Great food, great conversation, and a great connection. That is, until she revealed that she is a lesbian. FML
Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML
Today, I found out that the co-worker I have been dating and falling for is the same co-worker that had been spreading rumors about me and getting me in trouble with my boss. FML
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Top comments
ksks1234 33
At least you found out about the STD before possibly having sex with her.
kittykaos 14
Classy.
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Comments (134)
linjizzy 6
At least she told you so you can stay cleeear away from that shameless woman!!! Nobody wants the herps... Could've ended a lot worse buddy! God speed!
mac88 1
That sucks.
knoxxx 22
This is the most likely case. Unless the co-worker is a complete nutter, in which case you're better off anyways, right?
Old_Iron_Sides 6
Those dirty Flintstones! I always knew something was up with Fred...
cuponoodles34 10
hey, at least she was honest about it... but either way that's gross.
GrinchFu1 27
Sounds to me like someone just got "friend-zoned" by way of an elaborate bullshit story. Tell her you don't mind and see what she comes up with next. I see another hilarious FML post in your near future!
slmchicd12 23
It's not a good idea to date someone from work anyway. Don't shit where you eat.
Elendil_fml 10
I'd still get with her.
floup_fml 13
She was playing with you so why didn't you say about your second job as a stripper and discuss about the similarities you have?
60cent 7
Maybe she wants u to stop dating her by telling about the Std!